Dusk
by Seph Meadowes
Summary: Dusk is just an illusion. The day and night are linked in a way that few things are; there cannot be one without the other, yet they cannot exist at the same time. How would it feel, wondering to be always together, yet forever apart?
1. Preface

_**Preface:**_

It was a mystery to me, unfathomable, unexplainable. I couldn't understand how he of all people chose me or more of why I chose him.

It was like sailing blindly through dark waters without a compass and sinking, drowning without a care. Because it was just supposed to be, inescapable like a spider's web and I didn't care that I got caught.

It didn't matter anymore. We were meant to be together for the rest of eternity and I knew it went beyond that. I was meant to be his and he was meant to be mine, surpassing even when this world ended and we would learn what afterlife awaited the both of us.

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**The newest story because there aren't enough fics for this ship to satisfy my newest addiction.**

**The summary is a shortened Anonymous quote, originally it's: "__****Dusk**, is just an illusion, because the sun is either above the horizon or below it. And that means that day and night are linked in a way that few things are; there cannot be one without the other, yet they cannot exist at the same time. How would it feel, I remember wondering to be always together, yet forever apart?"


	2. Chapter 1: Change

_"**Change**, like sunshine, can be a friend or a foe, a blessing or a curse, a dawn or a dusk." – William Arthur Ward_

I found birthdays odd in general. With a family like mine, birthdays weren't celebrated much because the significance of it tended to fade after a few centuries.

Aunt Alice, though I love her and her ever lighthearted ways, enjoyed things like pretty dresses and throwing parties and when you're technically the only partly human thing around, expect her to sink her perfect (_sharp_) nails into your skin as she drags you away to try on the latest (and most expensive) item of clothing she would like you to try on or hand you enough presents that it could bring Santa Claus to shame as she gushes over how much you've grown and "Look, there's a cake!".

I've known that day would come, my seventh birthday, I've known all about it since my quickly developing mind could process thought. It was one of the things little kids would wait for, crossing out days in the calendar and staring outside the window longingly to pass the time, daydreaming of that one special day.

Normal kids weren't adults at this age that I'm celebrating; they were still blowing out the candles of their ice creams and receiving bikes with training wheels. I, however, wasn't normal, far from it. Because my seventh birthday was the day I would become an adult.

Though, my family would probably think me a child even when I was already as old as Grandpa Carlisle.

"Happy Birthday," Mom's whisper in my ear was as cool and sweet as it had always been, her arms felt like ice against my warm skin and I hugged her back, relishing the tenderness of the embrace. Mom had always been protective, I was her child, forever little Nessie with the rust-colored pigtails that ran with a big wolf as her guardian through the woods.

Dad's embrace felt the same except his hug had always been tighter, a strange mix of controlled carefulness and desperate adoration, he always hugged like he was afraid he'd lose me at any moment. He didn't need to wish me anything because I knew what he was thinking even if he was really the one that had the power to do that.

Jacob had a habit of being late as far as I could remember. He always arrived at just the right moment nonetheless, just when Dad asks if anyone wants to babysit me or when Aunt Rosalie has already left the room. Jacob, even if he was habitually late, made up for it for having the greatest timing.

"Happy Birthday, Nessie," I never told any of my family this but I enjoyed Jacob's hugs the best. He was warm and I always felt engulfed in his big arms. It was a real, full and adoring hug, like the hug after you greet someone you've been missing for the longest while. "Did I miss the food?"

Aunt Rosalie practically rolled her eyes at Jake's never-ending hunger and directed 'Fido' to where the small makeshift buffet table was.

"Thank you, Blondie." Jake's quip was only met with a toxic glare.

"Let's start unwrapping your presents!" Aunt Alice hauled me towards the large stack of gifts and proceeded to make me open each and every one, most of them I didn't even really need but was deemed necessary by whoever thought of giving it to me or Aunt Alice because they usually just made her do all the shopping including birthday presents.

Uncle Emmett and his ever dim ways had gotten me a gag gift of a flimsy piece of black material that was meant to be a nightgown. "For you two, when…_you know_…"

Dad had glared so viciously at him for insinuating that Jacob and I would even think about doing…_such things _that I'm sure that if looks could kill; Uncle Emmett would be sprawled dead on the dark wooden floors right then with that happy-go-lucky expression still present.

"Open my gift next," Jacob handed me his present and I almost laughed at how ridiculous it looked with the abundance of tape and the pink and purple gift wrapper that crumbled at the sides. "Don't judge it when you haven't even seen what's inside."

It always surprised me how he seemed to find it so easy to read my mind, if it was possible even more than Dad…

The quick change of everyone's behavior was noticeable as they all froze like statues, guarded-looks that I knew hid fear behind them stared at something behind me. Even Jacob was glaring aggressively, having pushed me behind him, his tall and large built making it impossible to see whatever it was that made them all stand on end.

"Nessie…" I heard Aunt Alice's small voice echo in the sudden quiet of the room, I could hear the horror in it and I knew at that moment that something terrible was about to happen.

With a swift breath, I stepped out from behind Jacob and looked at what frightened them all so much. What I saw made my heart stop and my breath hitch.

Standing there was the Volturi.

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**A review would be nice. It usually helps to encourage me. Pretty please with Alec covered in chocolate sauce? ^^**


	3. Chapter 2: Force

_Temptation is an irresistible__** force**__ at work on a moveable body__**.**_** – ****H. L. Mencken**

I recognized them immediately, the red eyes that had constantly been the dark cloud that hung over my family ever since that day all those years ago when we had to face them, preparing for death if they deemed me terminable. I remember each and every face in that crowd, unchanging like marble statues, their beauty captured in absolute perfection in the finest marble.

"Renesmee," Aro spoke first. I remembered his voice and this time it vibrated with delight and excitement. He was pleased, _too pleased_ about something. "You've certainly grown."

I wanted to answer but the words were stuck in my throat, my tongue felt swollen and useless in my mouth. I tried to nod but in my nervous state I just successfully ended up looking like a bobble head doll.

Looking sideways, I saw Jacob trying to reach for me and I stepped forward, farther away from him and closer to our 'visitors'.

"I guess you're proven wrong, Caius," Aro continued. "She's obviously not an immortal child."

My heart started thudding faster in my chest. My family had told me the story of the immortal children and the Volturi's brutal prohibition of them. I knew I had no reason to worry about that but a part of me was cautious, telling me to tread carefully in this situation. This was the Volturi, they would need only one second for them to change their mind and who knew what would happen next.

"Renesmee!" Mom's hiss was barely audible and I wouldn't have heard it if it wasn't for my heightened senses. She was trying to get me to come to her, far away from the danger that was in front of us. She wanted to keep her daughter safe.

I ignored her and took another step forward, the heels Aunt Alice made me wear making an annoyingly loud noise on the wooden floor.

"We're still not sure of her yet," Caius protested to Aro. "She could still be a liability."

Aro's wide smile dropped and he looked contemplative, "Perhaps… but Renesmee is too precious to just discard, I'd like to see what she'll be able to do in the future–"

"My daughter is not a lab rat!" Mom's shout echoed in the room and every head turned to her. The rest of our family was shocked by her interruption and Dad held her black, placing her behind himself lest she upset the Volturi.

"Bella…" I heard Dad whisper to her in warning but she still didn't seem calmed. She was trying to escape from his arms, trying to get to me.

"Perhaps, we shall just continue to keep an eye on you, Renesmee," Aro concluded as if Mom's outburst didn't just happen. "We didn't mean to intrude on your little party. We'll be taking our leave now."

With a grandiose bow, he turned and sauntered gracefully towards the direction of the door, followed by the rest of the Volturi, a disappointed Jane was easily noticeable. The petite blonde had probably been looking forward to getting us finally eliminated and was dissatisfied at not even getting to use her powers on anybody.

It was at that moment, watching the rest of the Volturi departing that I noticed one of them was not intending to make any movement to leave.

The dark-haired boy Jane was with was not moving, he was still standing there, looking at me, a look of concentration on his face like I was a puzzle waiting to be solved.

His eyes met mine for a moment; the red, like the blood I knew he fed on, was almost overwhelming. His gaze was piercing like he could see right through me, I felt naked like he was examining every flaw he could find in my being. I couldn't breathe for a moment and I didn't know why, I felt lightheaded, emotions were clouding my senses and I tried to make sense of it and failed. The words were scattered about, fragments torn apart and mixed together haphazardly.

Then, for a millisecond, he smiled. It was almost bone-chilling and I shivered like cold fingers were crawling up my spine. But as soon as the smile came, it disappeared just as quickly and I watched as he turned and left with the rest of the Volturi while I watched every small movement he made as he walked out the door.

When he finally disappeared into the night, I tried to make sense of what just happened, my head starting to throb with a headache.

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**There you have it, the start of Nessie's downfall.  
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**On a different note, the support for this story has been really heartwarming. Thank you to those who reviewed and even the quiet ones. You're all the best!**


	4. Chapter 3: Elude

_It is easier to stay out than to get out._ **– ****Mark Twain**

I liked the rain. It was one of the purest things in the world, every time it rained it felt like all the bad things in the world we're being cleansed away and all that was left was a blank slate, a place to start over.

I remember living in a small town called Forks, where there was always rain. I remember running through the forests, my dress getting soaked and stained with grass and mud stains, but I didn't care because I felt free, like I could sprout wings and fly high up into the sky.

My mom didn't like it when I would run through the rain or dance in it with Uncle Emmett, who twirled me up into the air as we sang that silly song that went "…raindrops falling on my head…" in our loudest voices, making everyone in the vicinity wince at how off-key we were.

Mom didn't like the rain, before moving to Forks, she had lived in Phoenix, where there was constant sun and heat. We've never lived in any place sunny so I couldn't understand. We always moved to places that were rainy or snowy, a place that had little sunlight so we didn't have to stay indoors all the time. After all, we didn't want to freak people out by suddenly sparkling (or in my case, glowing) in the middle of the afternoon.

Mobile, Alabama is the wettest city in the contiguous forty-eight states. Snow is rare here but it was fine, since we usually all just took a trip up North to stay with the Denali clan for the holidays. I would spend most of the time there, starting snow ball wars with my uncles, fighting over the largest penguin with Jacob and escaping Aunt Alice's constant fashion advice.

Mobile fit our needs just fine, besides the weather; it had some museums, parks, libraries and historical places that would amuse my Dad and my grandparents for a while. What I was most excited about was the Carnival; the parades that come before and the elegant masquerades (that everyone else went to but never brought me along because I was still a 'child') were the most fun, I loved standing in the streets with the crowd watching all the different attractions pass by. Since I could barely see anything with the large crowd, Jacob would hoist me unto his back and I'd watch the celebrations from there, laughing and whispering into his ear of all the wonderful things that passed by.

During the balls the 'adults' went to, some of them quite exclusive, I used to stare at how pretty Grandma Esme, Mom, Aunt Rosalie and Aunt Alice were in there long evening gowns, looking like the princesses in the fairytale stories Grandma Esme told me when I was small. Grandpa Carlisle, Dad, Uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett looked handsome in their suits, though Uncle Emmett never ceased to look uncomfortable, fiddling with the sleeves of his blazer like his muscles were about to burst out of them.

Jacob never came with them, he was more content staying the night with me, saying, "And now that the grownups are gone…", before running with me to the kitchen to pig out on his secret junk food stash and watching gory horror movies, laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.

Now that I was finally an adult, I wondered if they would take me along with them too and if Jake would come with me and become obviously uncomfortable in the suit as Uncle Emmett, their muscles stretching the fabrics like thin rubber bands.

Besides finally becoming an adult, another thing that I was excited about was going to college. I couldn't wait; it felt almost freeing like shedding off a really thick pile of clothes because I was being almost smothered to death again by Aunt Alice and her shopaholic ways.

Though it was her and preening and adjusting ways that I got my fanatics from. I was labeled by my family as being 'anal-retentive', constantly altering things in the house until I was satisfied, like changing the flowers in Grandma Esme's vase, adjusting a painting that was hung a bit off, or vacuuming the carpet until I was sure none of Jacob's fur survived in it.

College life was both a dream come true and a letdown since none of my family or Jacob wanted to go to the University of South Alabama and I ended up being the only one attending the place but the house was only a quick drive away and all I had to do was phone one of them and they would (literally) be here in a matter of seconds.

"Would you like anything else?" the waitress asked me as she tried not to stare at how I kept on arranging the cream and sugar packets on my table. I shook my head no and she sauntered off, peeking glances at me and my untouched coffee and blueberry muffin.

Jericho Café was one of those convenient little cafes I found near the university and I often spent my lunch breaks there, working on schoolwork, reading a novel or texting Aunt Rosalie about the latest insanities in our family.

"Is this seat taken?" I looked up at the sound of the voice and that familiar lightheaded feeling washed over me as I saw who it was.

College had started about a month ago and the Volturi's visit on my birthday party had escaped my thoughts for the majority of it and now staring down at me was one of their most dangerous guards, his red eyes were hidden with blue contacts but the red escaped through making his eyes look more of a violet color.

I only watched, bewildered, as he took the seat opposite of me, not bothering to wait for my reply anymore. Just like our last encounter, I couldn't speak, much less think. The words were separating and colliding with each other like a traffic jam turned car crash inside my head.

Then he smiled, the bone-chilling smile and I virtually started hyperventilating.

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**After reading the first and second chapters, I wanted to be more descriptive and tell more of the characters' lives. And well this is longer, but infinitely, I am more satisfied. I wanted to establish Nessie's character and her relationships with her family but also to show that she has some career plans (unlike her mom who was more into becoming a vampire before she got all wrinkly than having any actual life goals.)  
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**Mobile, Jericho Cafe and the University of South Alabama are real, actual places, I've never been to any of them but I do my research and hopefully that'll be enough not to offend anyone who's really from there. I chose Mobile, Alabama because it was ranked the rainiest place in America and when I looked more into it and saw all the history and attractions to the place and I just fell in love and had to use it. Come on people, they couldn't stay in Forks forever!**

**A huge shout out to KaganeTheGreat (Allison) for being a good listener and letting me bounce my ideas off her, we ended up successfully with a plot. If it wasn't for her, there would probably be no chapters till...six months? So, show Ally some love and go to her profile and read her stories. Also, thanks to nikkipattinson for clearing up the whole Virginia College thing. Thanks!  
**


	5. Chapter 4: Helpless

_How **helpless** we are, like netted birds, when we are caught by desire!_ – **Belva Plain**

His name was Alec. I found that out during our encounter at Jericho Café, where in I stared at him like some petrified kitten that was having an asthma attack. After he assured the waitress that I was fine by _dazzling_ her of all things, he proceeded to introduce himself to me and tell me that the Volturi wanted a closer eye on me and there he was.

Not that I didn't appreciate the heads up but then I now knew that he was watching me constantly and it can make a girl quite paranoid that I had my own personal voyeur hovering around _dazzling_ people (including my roommate who after first seeing him standing outside our dorm room had let him in after he told her he was a close friend of mine. She had misinterpreted 'close friend' as something else entirely and now she just couldn't stop giggling whenever he was in the room.)

I mostly regarded Alec like air, a figment of my imagination, like he wasn't really there standing on the other side of the room or seating five feet away from me. He was like a ghost appearing and disappearing out of nowhere.

I would find him waiting outside for me after my Internal Design class, leaning against the wall, dressed so casually and yet attracting the attention of every girl that passed by and even some guys. Or he would be sitting on my bed after Chelsie let him in again, throwing sharp pencils to the ceiling and getting them stuck there. Sometimes, he sat with me at the café, watching me eat my lunch, text or read my latest novel while he was humming some song that was sort of familiar to me.

I didn't want to admit it but I was starting to get used to him being around, he wasn't a bother; he was just there, just a spectator that saw things from a (really) closer seat. We had a (literally) silent agreement, as long as I was not bothered in my daily schedule, he was free to hang about and report back to the Volturi on how I use different colors of inks to keep my class schedule organized.

Even though I was already quite comfortable with him, that lightheaded feeling always seemed to be there when in his presence and that feeling of danger and fear I knew was never going to go away. Everything about Alec just seemed to scream _predator_. He wasn't the type of predator that charged at you with fangs and claws out ready to draw blood. He was like a snake, just coiled and ready to spring at the right time.

Still, I didn't tell any of my family. Not anyone, not even mom or Jacob. Aunt Alice didn't even know either because she could never see visions of me. Truth is, there was no way my family would ever, _could ever_ find out and the strange part is that I didn't care.

_Snap, snap, snap, snap._ I couldn't pinpoint exactly what Alec's age was. Being a vampire, it would probably be a few decades, a century or two, a whole era but I realized that age tended to be really just a number.

_**Snap, snap, snap.**_ Because vampires no matter how old they get can still act like five year olds.

_SNAP, SNAP._ "Could you please stop that?"

Alec stopped his meaningless entertainment of playing with my stapler and getting blue metal staples all over the dorm floor. "Are we talking, now?"

It was a little odd for me to be talking to him after almost three weeks of silence and I could understand if it was for him too. "Yes, I guess we are." I gestured to the stapler. "Do you mind?"

And with an effortless movement, the stapler landed gracefully on my desk.

"Thank you."

There was blissful silence and I resumed writing my essay with accomplished satisfaction. For a few seconds, the only sounds in the room were my pen scratching on paper and my breathing. But Alec, after being deprived of his only entertainment could not be idle for long.

"Where's the mutt?" He asked, interrupting me from my work again and I looked up at him, annoyance beginning to grow.

"What?"

If he wasn't currently lying on my bed I was sure he would've shrugged, "Your large, furry familiar. Isn't he like your pet or something?"

My annoyance with him was growing by the second. "Jacob's not my pet, he's a friend." How could he even insinuate such a thing? Even with all the jokes Uncle Emmett told about it, Jacob wasn't our pet, we had a lot more respect for him than to even think of him as such.

Alec wasn't looking at me anymore though and was staring at the ceiling; more interested with the pencils (he) stuck up there.

With a mental scoff, I went back to my essay again. Or at least_, tried_ to get back to my essay, I was so annoyed at his complete insensitivity that I found I've lost all concentration. I wanted to scream and rant at him like one of those lunatic girls from TV and I didn't know why.

My emotions were always myriad around him, each feeling modified ten times over and I felt that I had no control over myself and I became this ditzy, pathetic thing who couldn't process any thought. And it was all over someone I just met two months ago, who I didn't bother to even speak to until today.

I wanted to slap myself hard in the face. What was happening to me?

There he went again. "Do friends usually shed on the carpet?"

It took all my will power not to throw the stapler at his arrogant head.

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**I have made an estimate of 15-20 chapters or maybe less for this story. I was considering taking the stalker route for this couple via Edward, oiling windows and all but KaganeTheGreat (Allison) said that Alec didn't seem the type. He would announce his presence first _and then _stalk her and oil windows.**

**I feel like I'm moving too fast so next chapter, I'll be going a bit slower.** ^^


	6. Chapter 5: Lie

_All truth is simple... is that not doubly a **lie**?_ – **Friedrich Nietzsche **

Aunt Alice called yesterday. She told me she had a vision of Alec; she didn't get into details or specifics and just urgently asked me if I saw him hanging about. Alec had been lying on the floor on my dorm room at the time, throwing the last few of my pencils at the ceiling again, looking oblivious to the world around him but I knew he was listening to my conversation with special attention.

"_Nessie?_" Aunt Alice's sweet voice echoed from the phone, I could tell she was already starting to panic. I kept my eyes on Alec, trying to reach a decision in my head.

If I would open my mouth right then and tell the truth, I would get Alec as far away from me as possible. Not anyone in my family would allow Alec to even get in the same building as me once they find out. They would all be disappointed in me for hiding this…whatever this situation was to go on as long as it did but they would forgive me and probably ground me for the rest of my eternal life but it would be okay. I just needed to tell Aunt Alice that her suspicions were correct and get this mess over and done with.

_Lie_, a voice in my head said and I don't know why but I followed it, some part of me, the reckless one that always told me to do the craziest things was encouraging me to lie to my aunt, and what for? For a boy (_could he even be called that?)_ who I barely knew and had been following me around like some stray dog for the past three weeks? I could end all this nonsense right then by just saying one word.

However, I found I couldn't say the words, no, not even _one _word to reveal my stalker's presence.

A second or two later, still watching Alec and his pencil activity, I replied, "No, I haven't seen him. Or anyone from the Volturi for that matter."

The guilt began to gnaw at me at Aunt Alice's obvious relief. At her quick change of topic, I could barely answer back as she asked me if I wanted to go shopping next weekend. I couldn't focus on anything except for the fact that I just lied to my aunt. I lied for Alec and I absolutely had no idea why the hell I just did.

The cause of my dilemma however was too busy creating a constellation (via my dorm's ceiling) to even notice my inner turmoil. I was sincerely beginning to doubt my sanity because I just chose to _protect _him and the thought almost made me sick.

"Bye, Aunt Alice." I quickly hung up before she could say anything more. My head was pounding in confusion, another migraine resurfacing. I always seemed to have them when Alec was around. He had to be the most frustrating person I've ever met and I spend my time with Uncle Emmett and Jacob who both had the emotional capacity of plastic spoons. I wanted to bang my head on my desk maybe that would knock some sense into my deteriorating brain.

With an aggravated sigh, I turned back to him, seeing that he had gotten bored with the pencils and had moved on to his second favorite leisure activity – playing around with the stapler.

"You know how much staples you waste every time you play with that thing?" I glared at the numerous purple staples littering my once clean floor. He was like a child, always needed someone to clean after him.

"I'm not quite sure," _Snap._ "But I'm sure you're going to tell me." _Snap. Snap._

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I wasn't in any mood to deal with his snarky attitude. "You know what, why are you even here?"

He looked at me like I was mentally deficient. "It's–" _Snap._ "–my–" _Snap. _"–job." _**Snap.**_

Resisting another eye roll, I continued, "Yes, I know that but why'd they send _you_? They could've sent anyone else and from what I know, you and your powers are far too important for them to risk. What if something happened to you while you were observing my boring day-to-day activities?"

"Like what? Get giggled to death by your roommate?"

"_No_… it's just out of everyone else…"

He looked at me for a moment, assessing to himself what to say before he turned to the ceiling, his eyes out of focus and in deep thought. He was so quiet for a while that he surprised me when he started talking again. "Aro has a plan. I don't know what it is or why it involves me acting like a sad puppy following you around but it's somehow part of one of his twisted little schemes and in the years I've spent around him, I know whatever it is, it's something important."

I had a feeling it had something to do with Aro, for someone so terrifying and deadly, he seemed quite eccentric. "How important could that be?"

"It's Aro, you don't know him," He gave an almost nonchalant shrug. "When he plans something, he usually gets it. He doesn't care how long it takes, he's patient, and he waits for the right opportunities."

I weighed his words in my head, trying to evaluate all he's told me. There was something going on and my haphazard brain tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together but it only proved futile. Because a lot of things just didn't fit and I knew it was staring me right in the face, and yet…nothing. My brain could not come up with any answers to explain why Alec out of all of the Volturi was sent here to me.

Frustrated and a little jaded already knowing his response, I asked, "Bottomline, am I stuck with you?"

He already continued with his stapler amusement. "Yes," _SNAP._

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**The stapler makes a reappearance. ****Review and I _might_ update faster.**

_**BTW, CHECK OUT MY TRAILER FOR DUSK:**_ /watch?v=1tCfdD0vHg4_  
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	7. Chapter 6: Name

_Proper **names** are poetry in the raw. Like all poetry they are untranslatable._ – **W.H. Auden**

There was a restaurant nearby that I would sometimes eat dinner at. The first time I went there was unwittingly with Alec, we were still in our non-speaking agreement, so most of the night had been quiet. The waitress tried to flirt with him, battling eyelashes and giggling, not noticing he was blatantly ignoring her. Of course, Alec didn't order anything and just watched me as I ate my steak (rare), humming that song the name of I still couldn't figure out. At the time, I still wasn't used to the staring and kept my eyes on my plate a good portion of the time.

Our situation hadn't changed much since then. The waitress still tried to flirt with him, he still ignored her, I ordered my steak, and he watched me not even blinking for a few minutes sometimes. But ever since 'the incident' where I talked to him to finally get him to stop playing with the godforsaken stapler, he just couldn't seem to stop talking to me.

"Renesmee…."

I grimaced at the name, "Don't call me that."

"Okay," He rolled his eyes at me, the prick. "What should I call you then?"

"Nessie,"

He made some strange noise that sounded like a suppressed snort.

"What?"

He seemed to shake his head at some stray thought before answering, looking at me straight in the eye, distracting me for a moment. The lights of the restaurant always seemed to make the red color of his eyes escape the blue contacts, making the violet looked redder and because of that people tended to get fairly surprised to see Alec's almost red eyes, almost jumping in the air sometimes.

"Ever been to Scotland?" He asked unexpectedly and I blinked at him in confusion.

"Why?"

He smiled smugly at me, amused. "I'm pretty sure there's a beast there with the same name."

Realizing what he was referring to, I glared at him. "Not funny." I've always liked my nickname even when I had to be defensive about it to my classmates in my younger years,who took joy in calling me 'Monster Girl' (the irony of the moniker was not lost on me.) Besides 'Renesmee' was quite a mouthful and I liked my nickname even if I shared it with a Scottish water monster.

"Who gave you that nickname, anyway?" He continued, ribbing it for all it was worth. "Do I have to make a guess and conclude that your family just hates you?"

I shook my head, spearing some vegetables on my plate. "Jacob gave it to me."

I swore for a moment that there was something in Alec's eyes, disgust I could see and… something else that made me shiver like ice water was poured down on me. It suddenly felt dirty, my nickname, like It was_ wrong_ for Jacob to be the one to dub me. I didn't know why I felt that way but I contributed it to a lack of sustenance and took a big bite of my steak, savoring the taste of meat and sauce on my tongue.

"I should call you something else then," Alec remarked, nodding his head in full agreement of his idea. "How about… Rene? Esme? Nes? Ren?" He continued this as I shook my head at each and every ridiculous one he derived from my name. 'Renesmee' was just one of those names you couldn't get a proper nickname out of. It was like Tristan. Tris? Stan? Trissy? See? It just doesn't work.

After a bit, he finally ran out if ideas and was looking at me thoughtfully, a look of concentration on his face as I diverted my gaze to my plate, my cheeks were turning red against my will and I really hoped it was because of the cold. It _was_ already near the start of November.

"Sweetheart?"

I looked up at him, startled. "What?"

"Cupcake? Honey? Baby?"

I was torn between laughing and puking. "Okay, stop."

He continued, ignoring me. "Pumpkin? Poppet? _My love_?" I couldn't help that grin that was escaping and I was biting my lip trying to stop it as he musingly spouted out more nauseatingly cheesy endearments.

"I know," He seemed to finally make a decision. "Angel," I could only stare at him oddly, raising an eyebrow at his choice and he shook his head, changing his mind. "No, you're no angel, are you?" He pursed his lips, his expression contemplative again. I tried not to think about how the fullness of his lips and that look of intense concentration on his face made me a quivering mess inside.

It got worse when he smiled that bone-chilling smile, his eyes triumphant as he looked back at me. "How does… _Pet_ sound?" The way he said it was like honey, sweet and warm enough to melt frozen butter. I suddenly wondered if global warming was getting worse because the room suddenly felt hotter and my face was heating up, definitely turning to a bright shade of scarlet.

The bone-chilling smile widened. "It's settled then."

It started then, he kept calling me 'Pet' every time he could, most of the time just to annoy me. Abbreviating it to_ his_ pet when we were in public, suddenly taking my hand and gaining us amused stares from bystanders who probably thought we were a couple. It was some strange game to Alec, just poking and pushing me before I went ballistic and killed him. His nonsense tended to get quite tiring and it wasn't long before it got me into trouble.

After coming back from my evening shower one night, I found Alec took the liberty of answering the phone while I was gone.

He looked pleased to see me. "_Pet_…someone wants to talk to you," He said it just a bit too loudly and I looked at him suspiciously as he handed me the phone. He muttered something like 'mutt' before he gave a small nonchalant wave and left, off to do whatever it was he did when he wasn't around me.

I watched the door close behind him before bringing the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"_Nessie!_" It was Jacob. "_Who was that? And why did he call you '**Pet**'__?_"

My eyes closed in annoyance, mentally cursing Alec to hell for surreptitiously making me lie again, "Nobody, Jake, just nobody."


	8. Chapter 7: Reason

_Let your desires be ruled by **reason**.(Appetitus Rationi Pareat) – _**Cicero**

Chelsie had put on a costume that was a mix of the modernized vampires via True Blood/Underworld – revealing leather outfits, gothic make-up and the fake fangs. Much to her delight, she was invited to Greg Bloom's annual Halloween party.

"Be honest, I don't look like some hooker, do I?" The redhead asked nervously, fiddling with her gel-styled hair in the mirror. I had a feeling; her costume wasn't really her idea. I had to give it to her, Chelsie was quite a bit of a shy girl and she didn't really look comfortable in her outfit but she was doing something brave for a change and that was worthy of some praise.

"You look great, Chels," It was the truth and I made sure she knew it. Chelsie didn't really have much self-esteem and was prone to severe panic attacks. She gave me a relieved smile before looking at Alec for his thoughts. She had finally gotten over her giggling fits around him, though she tended to relapse once in a while.

"You would do better without the fangs," He remarked. "I don't think you'd need them."

She was confused. "What kind of vampire doesn't have fangs?"

"You'd be surprised," He smirked at her knowingly and I feared for a moment that he was going to reveal something to her. "No fangs. Just go in all your sexy leather glory."

She blushed for a moment, the color of her cheeks clashing with her hair. "Okay, thanks."

After removing the attachable fangs off her teeth and with a quick wave of goodbye, Chelsie was off.

"You should try those on," I gestured to Chelsie's discarded prop teeth. Alec just looked at me indifferently, glancing at the letter opener on my desk and back at me as if he was planning something particularly nefarious. I rolled my eyes, a habit developed around him. "I'm joking."

He didn't make a reply and instead suddenly stood up and started towards the door, I got up as well to go after him. "Alec, it was a joke!"

He didn't stop, not even looking back at me to shout or even glare, he just continued to leave and I rushed to stop him. I didn't know that what I said was so wrong and I couldn't let him leave upset with me, but I barely made it out the door when I found myself tackled in a bear hug.

"Surprise!" Uncle Emmett shouted happily, twirling me up in the air before setting me back down to let Aunt Rosalie hug me next. I realized then why Alec left so abruptly. After all, it wouldn't make do for him to be found in my dorm room of all places, Emmett might've done some football worthy moves and used him as a punching bag.

"You should see your face right now." She remarked as I tried to restart my heart. My surprise at seeing them I was evident but it was quickly replaced by joy. "What are you two doing here?"

Emmett was all too happy to declare, "We're vamp-napping you."

We all ended up deciding to watch Face Punch 5: The Return ('we' as in Uncle Emmett and I since Aunt Rosalie didn't really want to watch it but Uncle Emmett convinced her with the power of his dimples and irresistible puppy dog eyes. I learned that look from the master himself) and I don't know if you've ever gone out with the world's most beautiful woman and her big bear of a husband but trying to be inconspicuous is downright _impossible_.

The stunning looks weren't really the problem, it was Uncle Emmett with his loud laughing at all the gore and Aunt Rosalie's biting commentary of the film's lack of plot, character development or any substance whatsoever, which just attracted attention. I spent the majority of the movie, slouching in my seat, hoping people thought I wasn't with these crazy people.

I was more than a little relieved when the movie ended and the ride back to the college was a lot more pleasant. The license plate game was an Emmett-Nessie tradition, a game solely reserved for ages below a hundred years old and whether it be physically (me) or mentally (Uncle Emmett).

"Fantastic," I gave Uncle Emmett a triumphant smile and his eyes narrowed in concentration as he tried to think of a word.

"Stomatic!" He exclaimed happily while I gapped at him in disbelief.

"You made that up!"

"Still counts,"

Aunt Rosalie rolled her eyes from the passenger's seat; she always did that at our antics. Uncle Emmett and I would always act like children she often remarked. She gave us a glare after the car swerved when Uncle Emmett let go of the wheel to start tickling me. "You two are beyond the point of immature," She scoffed as we both looked sheepish. "It really is quite _pathetic_ and hopefully, not _genetic_."

It was quiet in the jeep for a moment, Aunt Rosalie continued to look out the car window as Uncle Emmett and I stared at her, stunned.

"Oh-kay…glad to have you playing, Rose," Uncle Emmett grinned as he spotted another license plate. "Les…les…les...Lesbian!" Rosalie smacked him on the arm. "OW! _Rose_!"

I couldn't stop myself from laughing even if I tried. I couldn't believe I ever forgot how it was like to spend time with my family, nothing was more fun than Uncle Emmett and his spectacular walrus impression that made other drivers stare at us oddly on the high way and Aunt Rosalie's vivid retelling of Aunt Alice's one woman protest against Jacob's shedding all over her new Parisian carpets.

No family could be this crazy…or loud, Uncle Emmett was practically wailing when they had to drop me off.

I wasn't all that surprised to find Alec in my dorm room. It was already close to midnight and Chelsie wasn't back yet, but from what I heard about Greg Bloom's parties, they usually ended at around four in the morning.

"Waiting up for me?" I quipped at the vampire lying on my floor and using the last of my pencils to finish his pencil art on my ceiling. He didn't respond, too focused on getting his aim just right.

With a triumphant smile he declared, "*_Vedi là_, the constellation of Alec."

I rolled my eyes at him for a moment; looking at how ridiculous he looked right there before making up my mind to lie down beside him to see what he was so happy about. It looked a lot like… "_A bat_?"

I looked at him confusedly as he shrugged. "Inside joke,"

I furrowed my eyebrows at him as my mind was sizzling with the effort of trying to figure out how _his _mind worked before finally giving up and I opted to observe his craftsmanship. Juvenile or not, art was art.

My eyes flew to him in surprise as his hand unexpectedly started playing with my hair, his fingers twirling the rust curls languidly. He looked so calm, bored even, as fingers twisted and tugged, like this was something he did normally.

He was humming that song again, which I still didn't know the title of, and his eyes were looking so confidently into mine that I felt my cheeks grow insufferably hot.

I tried to tell myself to relax, screaming mentally to listen to that rational thought. Alec was bound to get bored and stop soon and I _shouldn't_ focus on how his fingers felt nice doing that and I _should _just stand up and leave like a good girl.

I didn't move an inch. I was too entranced by that almost gentle look in his eyes.

"Alec…"

His hand moved to my cheek, his cold skin caressing mine as he smiled softly. "_Goodnight, Pet_,"

And then he was gone.

*It was moments later that I woke up alone in my bed, wondering to myself if I just dreamt it all.

* * *

_***Vedi la is Italian for 'see there'.**  
_

_***Is it a dream or is it not? Find out in the next chap, mwahaha...**_

**Really, really sorry for the late update but school was sucking all the energy out of me and I almost got sick with writer's block. I know they aren't excuses but they're what I have. **

**Another shout out to Ally (KaganetheGreat) because she listens to me rant, endures my tennis balls of ideas and gives some cool ideas as well. You know I love you. ^^  
**

**And since I tend to write into the future, after Dusk, I'll be writing two more Alec/Renesmee fics: The Path We Walk and Solstice. Both AU, of course.**

**Solstice will be posted on my birthday, Feb. 10 and The Path We Walk on Aug. 17  
**


	9. Chapter 8: Truth

"_The __**truth**__ is rarely pure and never simple."_ **– Oscar Wilde**

Thanksgiving came faster than I could comprehend. The month had gone by like a blur in the midst of classes and dealing with an arrogant stalker of a vampire. Most of my days had been spent on schoolwork and trying not to go insane because of Alec's bipolar behavior (who made aforementioned schoolwork harder since I had to climb up a stepladder every time I needed a pencil, messing up his 'Constellation of Alec' and getting him pissed in the process).

Alec was also getting a lot friendlier with Chelsie, who blushed and stammered every time he talked to her. Some part of me acknowledged that I should find the scene of the two laughing about something (undoubtedly pointless) cute but I didn't. I wasn't quite sure why I wanted to stab Chelsie to death with a letter opener every time she made Alec smile because she hadn't done anything terrible to me. The redhead was quite pleasant and kept to herself, didn't bother people (except Alec) and was a considerate and respectful roommate. I should want to kill Alec because it was what I've been fantasizing about since the first time he opened his big, haughty mouth… but I didn't. I wanted to do terrible things to Chelsie, not him.

"You okay, Ness?" Jacob asked me as I sulked, pouting miserably in the passenger seat of the rabbit.

For Thanksgiving dinner my family decided on who got to pick me up by the _Annual Thanksgiving Cullen Family Rock, Paper, Scissors Match_. Three year reigning champion Aunt Alice, after conquering Mom, sullenly lost to Dad who was later disqualified because of the 'No Powers' rule in the game and Uncle Emmett won by default. Uncle Emmett was defeated later by Uncle Jasper who later on was sadly beaten by Aunt Rosalie who just finished off with Grandpa Carlisle. The last remaining two were her and Jacob (who trounced Grandma Esme), it was a brutal match that went on for hours until Jacob was able to win by countering Aunt Rosalie's rock with paper. While Jake whooped in joy, Uncle Emmett held his wife back from making more brutal use of her fist so as Jacob had triumphantly relayed the story to me.

"Cheer up, Monster Girl," I glared at him for mentioning the nickname, he only laughed. "It looks like Monster Girl's testy today. What's the matter? Tell Jacob everything."

I glared harder at his joking tone and crossed my arms, turning to the car window to watch the scenery instead.

"Aww, Nessie, don't be like that!"

"Silence, you overgrown dog,"

"_Ouch_," He gave a dramatic pained hiss. "That hurt, Nessie."

I shrugged casually. "I'm just being honest."

"Still you wound me so….with your words that cut like a sharp knife."

I stared at him oddly. "Alright, what have you been drinking?" I was completely serious, he was beginning to sound like Dad and it was disturbing me, immensely.

He only shrugged, chuckling and I rolled my eyes.

Upon arriving, we were instantly greeted by Aunt Alice who after hugging me, surveyed me and proceeded to drag me upstairs to my room to change (pushing aside anyone who got in our way, shouting, "_Move_!"). No one was brave enough to go against her when she was in her fashionista mode and we spent the good of two hours choosing an outfit for me to wear ('we' as in Aunt Alice ransacked my closet while I sat on the bed as she threw me outfits to try on).

Everybody else was able to greet me properly when we got downstairs, all waiting their turn to hug me and harass me about college life (Aunt Rosalie), if I was doing well in school (Grandma Esme), if I partied a lot (Uncle Emmett), or if I finally lost it to some boy (still Uncle Emmett). Dad had responded to the last two questions with another one of his if-looks-could-kill glares. Unfortunately, Uncle Emmett didn't even look the slightest bit phased.

Dinner had always been a bit of an odd occasion since the only people who ate were Jacob and me and the rest spent the majority of it talking about some random topic whether it is the secrets of the universe or the best cheese to go with pasta. Or they would just suddenly stop to make gooey eyes at each other, Jacob and I used to make disgusted faces when I was younger.

I always felt like a bit of an outsider because my grandparents, my parents, my aunts and uncles all looked so in love with each other. It was like looking at a real life Hallmark Valentine's Day card, so beautiful and nauseatingly sweet. Jacob used to shield my eyes when they got too cozy, shouting at them, "Don't traumatize the kid!" until they pulled away.

I glared at the flute of apple cider I had in hand since Mom wouldn't let me drink any champagne or wine because I was still a 'child'. And yet after a glance at Jacob, she let _him_ drink. You shouldn't let crazy people drink, it was unseemly.

Grandpa Carlisle tapped his empty flute glass with a knife to get our attention and proceeded to start the Thanksgiving speeches. Everyone was thankful for the same thing, a loving family, their significant other, infinite happiness, and peaceful lives.

Jacob ended up making me blush. "I'm grateful for Nessie, the best friend an overgrown dog could ever have," I slugged him on the arm as I tried to make my face return to normal color, everyone else laughed.

Finally, it was my turn. "What I'm grateful for…" My eyebrows furrowed in thought, trying to scrounge my mind up for something. I'd already thanked the previous Thanksgivings for everything else about my blessed life, a great family, an awesome (but annoying) best friend and a comfortable lifestyle. Nothing's happened to me that would've made any impact that I would consider meaningful enough to be grateful for…

_His hand unexpectedly started playing with my hair, his fingers twirling the rust curls languidly…._

…_He was humming that song again…_

…_his eyes were looking so confidently into mine that I felt my cheeks grow insufferably hot…_

…_I was entranced by that almost gentle look in his eyes… _

"_Alec…"_

_His hand moved to my cheek, his cold skin caressing mine as he smiled softly. "Goodnight, Pet,"_

"I'm grateful for change," Nonchalantly, I raised my flute and took a long sip.

I spent the rest of the evening feeling like a chewy toy being fought over by overeager puppies, each one of my family (including Jacob) tried to steal my attention to pester me about what's been happening about my life or simply just to tell me some story that I only half-listened to. I knew I should feel guilty for being sick of all this attention but I wasn't, their overzealousness was making me uncomfortable.

Things got crazy when Uncle Emmett and Jacob had an impromptu wrestling match and Uncle Jasper opened a betting pool. While the insanity heightened and destruction of nearby furniture commenced, I snuck away to get some air and (hopefully) peace and quiet.

I ended up in Grandpa Carlisle's study and observing the painting of the Volturi with growing interest. The faces were all beautiful, elegant and just like this painting, ethereal. To a stranger, they wouldn't guess that these breath-taking men could be cruel and apathetic, Caius with his eternal anger, Marcus with his indifference to everything and most of all, Aro with his brutality in seeking for power. With such otherworldly appearances, no one would've guessed they were monsters.

"That's a bit harsh,"

I gasped in surprise at the sudden voice and at seeing who it was, tried to calm down my rapidly beating heart. "Dad, you scared me."

He smiled ruefully. "Sorry,"

"It's okay," A crash resounded from outside the study. "They're still at it?"

Dad nodded bemusedly. "Alice already told Jasper who's going to win and they'll all just end up losing their money," He shook his head morosely at our family's eccentric behavior. "So, is anything the matter? Your mother sent me to check up on you."

"I'm fine," I turned back to the painting on the wall and wondered idly what circumstances brought Alec to serve them. Did they come to him, offering him grand things? Or did he come to them as a human in quest for perpetual life? Alec didn't really seem like the subservient type to me, he enjoyed getting his way too much and imagining him following the every will of these vampires was incomprehensible.

"Renesmee…."

I turned and found Dad looking searchingly in my eyes and I knew that he was reading my mind, searching for my memories of Alec which I tried best to hide in the farthest part of my mind but he was relentless, breaking down every barrier until he found what he was looking for.

He looked at me seriously, like he was scolding me for something bad I've done and it dawned at me in chilling horror that he _knew_ and no denying could change his mind about what he'd seen inside my head. My breath hitched as I waited for him, inwardly panicking, to do something. My father was one of the most mature people I knew but now and again, he was prone to bouts of pettiness.

His eyebrows furrowed as he frowned, his golden eyes showing his disappointment and shock that the guilt I've been suppressing resurfaced and overwhelmed me like a sharp punch to the gut.

He let out a weighty sigh and shook his head and when he looked up his eyes shone with a sadness that made my stomach sink in even more shame. What have I done?

"Please just promise me you won't do anything reckless," His voice was constricted, controlled. "Anymore than you've already done, anyway,"

The shame punched me with another sharp pang and I watched miserably as he walked out the door, not bothering to hear my reply. I stood there, trying to breathe, like I was either going to collapse from the dizziness or throw up because the bile was rising in my throat. My Dad's words rung heavily in the glaringly quiet room and I never hated me so much than right then.

* * *

**Sorry for the incredibly long wait but the muse was being stubborn and it took pointing a gun at for it to start being cooperative. Anyway, I'll update as soon as my muse recovers from the wounds I inflicted. And Happy New Year, everyone! **


	10. Chapter 9: Choice

"_We** choose** our joys and sorrows long before we experience them."_ **– Kahlil Gibran**

I was left there in the study for some long and torturous minutes, each second made the hollow feeling in my stomach grow like a black hole that sucked everything in, leaving nothing but a shambled and indecipherable mess. My knees felt like they were going to give away but I miraculously was able to stand my ground and even as I was inwardly panicking I knew what I had to do. I knew that I had to go and find Dad. I needed to talk to him and straighten things out. I couldn't let things be left like this.

It was only a half-moon that night and yet I could make out several constellations in the sky as I made my way to the gardens' gazebo. Cassiopeia, Draco, the Big Dipper…

As I expected, I found him there and his back was turned, facing away from me.

Grandpa Carlisle told me he bought this house specifically for the gardens, it provided the perfect atmosphere for watching the stars that shined the brightest in this part of town. The gazebo was my favorite place when I was younger. It was our secret place, my Dad and I. It was there that he read to me, sung to me, thought me how to waltz and did whatever it was we wanted to our hearts' content.

I took a deep breath, trying to force the words I needed to say out. "Look Dad, I know you're angry…" I winced as my voice faltered. "And I'm sorry I kept it from you all but-"

He interrupted. "I'm not angry at you for that," And my mouth clamped shut, the silence that followed was deafening. And when he finally turned to me, his face showed some kind of deep resignation I couldn't understand. "I've read your mind, Renesmee. I know what's happening."

"What do you mean?"

"You're falling in love with him," He declared it like the most well-known fact in the world.

I shook my head in denial. "No, I'm not," The idea of me falling for Alec was ludicrous considering who he was and who I was, we were not meant for such things. I knew my place in this world and it was here with my family and in the future, Jacob's mate.

"Subconsciously, you are. I've seen it." He smiled ironically, as if laughing at something not really that funny. "And it looks like he's falling for you too."

I felt lightheaded, my brain was buzzing with this brand of new information. _Alec loves me_. It sounded foreign, unacceptable and surreal. Because Alec would never – could never – _no_, just no. I was Jacob's imprint, I was meant to be his as part of destiny's design. It was what was meant to be and no one could change that.

"I haven't told anyone yet," Dad continued. "I'll leave that for you to do on your own terms."

I could only stare at him, nodding dumbly as I tried to sort out my thoughts.

"You want to be an adult now, Renesmee, don't you?" Dad asked, his eyes boring seriously into mine. "Here's an adult situation. You have to make up your mind what you really want because you're not the only one affected in this matter. Jacob loves you and not just as a younger sister or niece. Alec on the other had? He's not who you think he is."

I tried to digest his words, but they were only making my head hurt even more. I didn't who know Alec was? Who was Alec really, anyway? Did I even understand him to begin with? "What am I supposed to do?"

He shook his head. "Only you can answer that. That's the thing about being an adult, Renesmee. Sometimes, you have to fix things for yourself. You have to figure this out, you have a choice to make and you can't ask me or any of our family to help you on this. It's all on you."

My breath was suddenly laborious, my chest was constricting and the pressure was crashing down on me with the weight of his words. What choice? Since when did I have to choose?

It was confusing and nerve-wracking; I've never been faced with such a dilemma before, I didn't what to do, I wasn't ready for this and I wanted to cry, even if it wouldn't make it all go away or solve anything. I never asked for any of this, it was unfair.

I didn't understand anything and the thought of having to choose between Jacob and Alec and why I had to in the first place, filled me with dread. The thought of losing any of the two was making me hyperventilate in dismay. Jacob was my best friend; I couldn't bear to lose him, he's always been such a big part of my life, it felt wrong not to have him there. And Alec?

Alec was…

He was…

What… what was he to me? What made the thought of not having Alec in my life sound so terrible?

I was so baffled about everything that I didn't know what to think anymore.

"Oh, Nessie," I looked up in surprise at Dad's close proximity as his cold fingers caressed my cheek tenderly, his face a mix of affection and bemusement. "You naïve little girl, what have you gotten yourself into?"

"Papa…" I haven't called him that in years and I felt like I was a small child again when he was always there to comfort me and make everything better. He made everything bad go away.

I wanted his comfort more than anything else at the moment and I buried my face in his chest as he hugged me, rubbing my back as I cried. He sighed, his breath cool and blew on my neck as he told me that things would be alright. And in the comfort of his embrace, I believed the lie.

* * *

**And the drama begins...**

**After the last chap, everyone just hated Edward. Do you still hate him now? Sorry for no Alec in this chap but he'll be in this next one, promise.** ^_^

**And oh yeah, remember to vote in my pole on my profile!**


	11. Chapter 10: Temptation

**SOME SWEARING COMING UP, DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT.**

* * *

_Those who flee **temptation** generally leave a forwarding address._ **- ****Lane Olinghouse**

I spent the next few days like a coward, I avoided all calls and e-mails from any of my family or Jacob, fearing that they would be angry at me after Dad probably told them about Alec. I wouldn't be able to handle their looks of betrayal and their hurt words even if I did deserve it for deceiving and lying to them. Because I knew how dangerous the Volturi were, how dangerous Alec really was.

That easy going, stapler happy vampire that had been hanging around me for the past two and a half months was a fake. And the uncovering of my web of lies finally opened my eyes to it. The Alec I knew was a sham because a Volturi guard wouldn't spend his days making constellations and joking around with a human, he was hazardous, ruthless and power-hungry just like the rest.

I didn't know what was going on anymore in my life, it hurt my head, I was angry at myself and at Alec and I was puzzled about all of this. What was it about Alec that made me act this way? What made me turn into this ridiculous, helpless and pitiful girl who dreaded the thought of losing him?

However, I knew what I had to do. I had to end this….whatever it was. His presence only confused me about my feelings and messed me up, he wasn't good for me. I don't know what he did or say but I needed him out, gone from my life because it was the only chance of my family forgiving me for putting myself in such a precarious and vulnerable position.

"You're no fun anymore," Alec remarked as he entered my dorm room. He was frowning, almost pouting like a spoiled child not getting his way. "You've been doing nothing but sulk and moan these past few days."

I rolled my eyes and got up from my desk. "Why do you keep hanging around?" All my anger at him was released in that moment; making it the only emotion I could focus on. It was hot and pulsing in my skin like liquid fire.

Typically, he was oblivious to it all. "It's my job."

"I don't care," I snapped back. "I want you to leave."

He looked baffled. "Are you busy..?"

"_No_," I snarled. "Just get out."

He didn't move an inch. "What's brought this up?"

I started my rant. "Ever since you've come into my life, I've done things I wouldn't normally do. I lied and deceived my family and if it makes you happy, they hate me now. I believed that happy-go-lucky façade you put up when we both know that's not the real you. You've been fooling me all along." I sneered, glaring at him, hatefully. "You. Ruined. Everything."

The smile on his face was gone. "First of all, I never made you do any of those things. I never made you deceive your family. You did that on your own. And is it my fault you're naïve enough to believe me so _easily_?" He scoffed and the callous gleam in his eyes made me want to step back. It screamed _predator_ and I was reminded of who he was like a kick in the gut. "Don't blame _me_ for the shit in your life like it wasn't already about to fall apart anyway, _Pet_," The way he said the nickname was cruel, mocking.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"As if you don't know," He smiled maliciously and I knew the next words to escape his mouth weren't pleasant. "Do you_ love_ the mutt? Do you _enjoy_ the idea of giving birth to his half-werewolf offspring someday? Doesn't it make you _sick_ that all your life he's just been waiting for the time until he can _fuck_ _you_?"

"You sound resentful," I countered. "Are you jealous, Alec?"

He snorted."Don't be ridiculous."

"You know I'm not, because you _are_ jealous." I continued. I stepped closer to him, eliminating more of the space between our bodies. "Do you_ love_ me, Alec?"

He didn't answer only stared at me, the look in his eyes smothering and I averted my gaze, feeling the blush burning my cheeks.

"Pet…"

I couldn't help but look up again, my mouth going dry as I found his gaze was on my lips and I licked them unconsciously, prompting him to close his eyes for a moment as if to control himself. He was thinking of something very deeply, moving perfectly still for a moment before he shook his head, strengthening his resolve and he moved closer, eradicating any space left between us.

Alec was around 5"10, just a few inches taller than my 5"7 height and he didn't have to bend his down too uncomfortably until his lips were a hair's breath away from mine, his cool breath made my cheeks tingle in a blush as I closed my eyes waiting for something to inevitably happen. His lips were almost touching mine, a light brush, a ghost of a kiss until it deepened and I sighed into the kiss.

It quickly deepened. The unspoken desire between us emitting a heat that spread throughout my whole body, I poured all my anger and frustration into the kiss and I felt him do the same. It became more aggressive, his mouth clashing almost painfully against mine but we didn't care, it felt wonderful and I never wanted it to end.

He pulled away moments later, his breath as heavy as my own. I kept my eyes closed, savoring the feel of the moment as much as I could. I've never felt like this, so vulnerable, light and _content_. The world could burn to the ground at that very second and I wouldn't give a damn.

He kissed me again, softly, sweetly and I smiled. "Goodbye, Renesmee," He murmured against my lips and my eyes opened in confusion only to find him staring at me regretfully, baffled. I couldn't speak and watched in a daze as he moved away and walked out the door.

* * *

**Alec disappears for a bit after this. Get ready for some withdrawal.**

**Didn't sleep to get this up. Sorry for the errors, I'm about to collapse here. **


	12. Chapter 11: Denial

_It's not __**denial**__. I'm just selective about the reality I accept._ **– Bill Watterson**

I told myself repeatedly that I did not miss Alec. It became a mantra I would say to myself when I got out of class and didn't see him there (and people stared at me oddly when I cursed loudly and walked away), when I ate lunch at Jericho Café alone (the waitress looking at the empty seat at my table pityingly and even asked me if we broke up), when my dorm room was so unusually quiet without the sound of a stapler snapping away (the constellation mocked me too and I had to take it all down), when I'm about to sleep and I can swear I can hear the sound of him humming (I usually just sing a song in my head to block it out). I was gradually losing my mental health and I was pretty sure it was too late to do anything about it.

Aunt Rosalie once told me about the time Dad had to leave Mom to keep her safe and she apparently acted like some sort of zombie. It dawned on me that I was similarly acting the same way and it almost scared the glow off my skin.

I considered going to Grandpa Carlisle for his medical opinion but thought better of it, I wasn't ready to reveal my dirty little secrets just yet. I thought of a therapist next but changed my mind since that was just a few steps short of disaster. How was I even going to explain it to a complete stranger, let alone a human one?

"_Well you see, I think I might be in love with this vampire (Yes, he's a vampire, I 'm not joking. My whole family is but no, I'm only half. It's a long story). Anyway, my Mom's best friend imprinted on me (His name's Jacob, he's a werewolf) and I'm expected to marry him someday but the thing is, I'm in love with Alec (the vampire) and I really like making out with him. But I made him go away because my family wouldn't approve because he's one of the Volturi (I'll explain what that is later). And oh yeah, I'm slowly going insane because I keep hearing him humming inside my head. Any questions?"_

It would be a miracle if I didn't find myself hunted down by the Volturi and made into firewood by the end of that session. I'd have to suffer in silence.

Going off topic, Chelsie got invited to Greg Bloom's Christmas Party and asked if I would like to come, albeit she still looked quite terrified of me since that time she asked me where Alec was and I gave her the evil eye. Inwardly, I commented on how Greg Bloom didn't have anything better to do than waste his rich daddy's money by finding any means to have a party but I held my tongue and told her I would come. I had nothing better to do anyway.

I concluded that I was better off doing nothing since I spent most of the night fighting off horny boys and drinking spiked soda. I woke in the morning to find myself with a hangover so terrible, it felt like I got pounded on the head repeatedly with a jackhammer. Some of my memories of last night were faulty and I had to have Chelsie tell me the story of how I kicked *Stephanie Morgan's butt in a catfight which explained the dried blood on my nails.

What disturbed me was the reason for the catfight. I apparently attacked Morgan after she made a biting remark about my boyfriend (*cough* Alec *cough*) dumping me and that if she ever saw him again, she'd show him what sex with a 'real woman' was like. I ended up drawing blood, tearing her skin like thin paper while her nails did nothing on my granite skin. It was only after I broke her fake nose and gave her a fat lip that I told her to back off 'my man' or I would break every bone in her body and then suck her veins dry.

I could just picture Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper laughing like hyenas over that. And I would join them because I've obviously gone off the deep end.

_My man_? Who talked like that, seriously? When did I ever start thinking of Alec as 'my man', he wasn't even mine for goodness' sakes!

I'll completely ignore the hollow feeling in my stomach at that thought. It was completely inappropriate especially since I was sitting right beside Jacob. He kidnapped me for the weekend, complaining that he never saw me anymore because I was always in college.

He brought us to the nearest beach, strangely sparse of people and leaving us with complete privacy and stillness. The beach was at the other side of town and the sun was already setting when we got there, the sky a kaleidoscope of oranges and pinks that glittered off the sparkling water giving us a breathtaking view.

We sat cross-legged on the white sand beside each other, our shoes off, the sound of the waves and feel of the sea breeze lulling us to wonderful tranquility. And then Jacob moved a bit closer to me and I tensed.

I've been thinking a great deal about what Dad told me about Jacob not viewing me as a younger sister or niece anymore and instead in a more romantic sense. I couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable around Jake after learning that.

Jacob had always been there, from the first moment I was born, when I first opened my eyes, learned to talk, learned to walk and then run. He was there along with everyone else to drop me off on my first day of school, he was there to cheer the loudest in the crowd when I competed in any school competition, he was there as my date to all school dances and eventually prom even if he didn't enjoy wearing suits.

Jacob had always been a big part of my life. He was my best friend. And when I always knew that when I was old enough, I'd be his and he'd be mine, we'd finally get together after years of painful waiting. When I was in high school during the time I had the largest crush on him, I anticipated it, dreamed about it, just waited eagerly for it like a child would for Christmas.

But in an odd sense, I always thought it was still far away. Like a child in kindergarten waiting for the day she could attend college and before she knew it, the day's come for her to fill up application forms.

Jacob smiled at me, warmly, adoringly. "You do know that I love you Ness, you're the most important person to me."

"_Do you__** love **__the mutt?"_

I was startled for a moment at the sound of Alec's voice but inwardly shook it off and answered automatically."I love you too, Jake."

"_Do you __**enjoy**__ the idea of giving birth to his half-werewolf offspring someday?"_

I closed my eyes as tried to silence Alec's voice in my head. He was doing nothing but making me doubt myself and complicate things. I felt Jacob move even closer and pull me to him in a semi-hug, the heat of his body seeping into my skin and normally I would be comforted by his presence but…

"_Doesn't it make you __**sick**__ that all your life he's just been waiting for the time until he can __**fuck**__** you**__?"_

I inwardly groaned and scooted away from Jacob, trying my best to ignore his hurt and confused expression. Alec truly had poisoned my mind, he was bothering the hell out of me and he wasn't even around.

* * *

***Stephenie Meyer's maiden name is Morgan. Make what you will of that information.**

**Random factoid. Alec is really only 5 ft. tall (possibly even shorter) in the books while Cameron Bright who portrays him in the films is 5"10. I just went with his height because I made Pet have a height of 5"7.**

**So how are we coping without Alec? Good? Bad? Don't worry, just two or three more chapters with Jacob/Renesmee horror. I'm trying not to hate Jake but it's not working.  
**

**I was really worried about Pet sounding too much like Bella in New Moon here but Ally (KaganeTheGreat) helped me a bit so it wouldn't be like that and besides, I don't think Bella was even as remotely interesting as Pet.**

**And lastly, I'm making a contest. The person who can give me the best casting for Pet (Renesmee) will have my next Alec/Renesmee fic, The Path We Walk dedicated to them. ^_^**


	13. Chapter 12: Awkward

_Dating is just **awkward** moments and one person wants more than the other. It's just that constant strangeness. I think it's a very real thing._ **– ****Jason Schwartzman**

Aunt Alice was a big Audrey Hepburn fan and would often force me, Aunt Rosalie and Mom to re-watch her favorites with her like _Breakfast at Tiffany's_, _Roman Holiday _and Charade. Aunt Rosalie liked Audrey well enough but was more of an Elizabeth Taylor fan, Grandma Esme never watched with us because she refused to watch anything unless it had Bette Davis in it and Mom couldn't understand our obsession with classical Hollywood films and even told us as such at one point.

Aunt Alice didn't talk to Mom for a week for that particular comment and Aunt Rosalie gave her _La lueur de la mort_. That's 'the glare of death' to those who can't speak French. Aunt Alice insisted I learned when I was five just because it was 'classy'.

Since it was the holidays, Aunt Alice was going to make us go through tradition and dragged me into the living room as soon as I stepped through the front door. The only other persons currently at home were Uncle Jasper, Grandma Esme and Jacob since the rest were either at work (Grandpa Carlisle), out hunting (Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rosalie) or spending quality time with each other (Mom and Dad...Eww)

"Bad mental image, pixie," Jacob remarked wrinkling his nose in disgust when Aunt Alice decided to go graphic on her explanation. I was blushing red at the thought of my parents doing…_that_. Thanks to my being half-human, my skin could easily turn a bright shade of red unlike full vampires.

"Have mercy on your niece, Alice," Uncle Jasper said. "I can feel the shame wafting off her."

"Really?"

He grinned at me. "No. The blush was just giving it away."

I inwardly huffed and damned my stupid half-human blushing reflex.

"So, what are you watching today, Alice?" Grandma Esme asked as she handed Jacob the enormous bowl of popcorn which he would be able to finish before the movie even started. I snatched the bowl away. 'Sharing is caring.' I mouthed to him. He snatched it back, mouthing at me, 'Cry me a river.'

"_Breakfast at Tiffany's_."

At Aunt Alice's happy declaration, the decades old film started.

Through the years of Hepburn exposure thanks to Aunt Alice, I have the whole film practically memorized and because of that I tended to space out at certain parts and often found myself observing the rest of the audience watching.

Grandma Esme had left the room to do something or the other. Aunt Alice always looked like she was watching it for the first time even if she's watched it so many times it should be illegal. Uncle Jasper looked rather bored which wasn't really a surprise since he liked cowboy movies the best and often only went through this what he considered 'torture' for his wife. Jacob looked like he was wishing for God to have made Tiffany's some kind of gory action movie, most probably with Jason Vorhees in the mix. Jake was a Friday the 13th maniac.

Not even a third of the way into the film, Jacob had finished all of the popcorn and had asked –no, _ordered _for me to make more for him. I used my power to show him a scene of me punching him in the face and ending in his beheading. He just grinned at the morbid picture, the masochist.

"_I'm like cat here, a no-name slob. We belong to nobody, and nobody belongs to us. We don't even belong to each other."_

The audio was so loud that I could hear the movie playing from the kitchen. I sighed as I waited, glaring at the bag of popcorn turning in the microwave. I wondered idly if vampires could be affected by radiation. But since I was only half, was I at risk? Hmm…I'd have to ask Grandpa Carlisle.

"Don't even think about it, Snuffles." I gave a sharp look at a sheepish Jacob who was just about to make some kind of loud animal sound to try and startle me. Sadly for him, even as a half-vampire with my slightly less precise vampire abilities, I could hear his approach just as well.

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "Snuffles, Nessie?"

"My new nickname for you." I deadpanned. "Because you're so cute and cuddly"

"What am I? A teddy bear?"

"No, teddy bears aren't as annoying."

He hissed dramatically. "Ouch. It _burns_." I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "Baby."

"No, it's really burning." He gestured to the smoking microwave. "_Oh shi_– Couldn't have bothered to tell me, Jake?"

I frowned in disappointment as I deposited the now charred popcorn into the trash bin. The burnt aroma could be smelled all over the kitchen, making me inwardly gag. Grandma Esme was not going to be happy at my little 'surprise' for her.

"I'm guessing this is why you didn't take up Culinary Arts in college?"

"I'm aware of my crappy cooking skills, Black but I wouldn't have burned the popcorn if a certain Mr. Snuffles wasn't paining me with his irritable presence."

"His 'irritable presence'? Cruel, Nessie, I don't think Mr. Snuffles would've liked that."

"I don't think Mr .Snuffles can really do anything about it. He'd be too busy peeing on a tree or humping someone's leg."

"Okay, _enough_. You have been spending _way_ too much time with Rosalie."

"Did I hurt the feelings of Mr. Snuffles?"

"Yeah, a little bit."

"Well, boo-hoo for him." I grabbed another bag of popcorn from the cupboard and threw it in the microwave. "Nessie?" I was determined not to burn the popcorn again and kept my eyes on it. "Hmm?"

"How do you feel about…could you look at me for a minute?"

"Can't, I'm not burning another bag because of distractions."

"It's just popcorn. Who cares if it burns?"

"_I _do. I'm the one who has to makes some because Snuffles ordered some."

"Well, Snuffles wants some of your attention now, so could you lend some of it?"

"Fine but if it gets burned again, you're eating all of it." I turned to look at him. "What?"

Looking at Jacob standing a few feet away, his usual cheerfulness gone and replaced by discomfort and nervousness was a little disconcerting. I felt like I was missing something happening here, something important.

"Nessie, how do you…how do you feel about…"

"About?"

"A-about me…how do you feel about me?"

That was an unexpected question, he even stammered asking it and this was a bit strange since in my seven years of living I've never seen Jacob stammer over anything, not once. He was one of those people who were sure about everything especially themselves.

"How do I feel about Snuffles?" I decided to ignore the sudden awkward mood in the kitchen. "My tree-peeing, leg-humping, Parisian carpet-shedding friend? I…don't know, I'll think about it. I'll send you the memo later."

"Renesmee, I'm serious." I was back to staring at the microwave, just a few more seconds until I could go back to Hepburn and Peppard. "Renesmee?"

"Renesmee." The serious tone in his voice made me look up in surprise. I only heard that tone being used by Grandpa Carlisle and Dad when there was something terribly wrong. At that moment, Jacob looked more serious than I've ever seen him. Preserved at the age of sixteen because of his shape-shifting, Jacob looked nearer to the age of twenty five he really was. And yet, he looked strangely vulnerable at the same time. "How do you feel about me?"

He said the words slowly like giving emphasis to each word. For some reason, I felt like my answer was important, that if I said the wrong one…what was the right answer to that question anyway? "You're my best friend."

Pain flashed in his eyes. "Is that all?"

"What else could you be?"

"You're my imprint."

"_So what?"_ Alec's voice rang in my head. I didn't really need my schizophrenia at the moment and tried to block it out. "What are you talking about, Jacob?"

He sighed, frustrated over something. "I love you, Renesmee."

"I love you too."

"Not like that." He stepped a few steps forward, leaving only a small space between us. I could see the brown in his eyes, mixed with the black, standing out and blending in with his russet skin at the same time. "I love you."

"_I love you."  
__"__So what?"  
__"__So what? So plenty! I love you, you belong to me!" _

I stared into his eyes for a moment, confused and trying to understand what he meant. I shook my head as my brain refused to process it.

"I love you."

"_No. People don't belong to people."  
__"__Of course they do!" _

Still nothing, my mind felt like a thousand bees were inside buzzing simultaneously I couldn't get any words out. It wasn't like the chaotic mess the words became when Alec was around, my heart wasn't beating erratically and my cheeks didn't have the weird compulsion to redden at one look from his blood red eyes.

Jacob stepped even closer until there was nothing but a hair's breathe between our bodies, he had me against the counter, the microwave bumping into my back. Jacob's large hands went to my waist, pulling me impossibly closer to him. He stopped for a moment, taking the time to nuzzle the space where my neck met my shoulder, sniffing my scent almost lovingly.

"J-Jacob…"

"I love you." He muffled into my skin and I shivered at the hot breathe of his mouth.

"_I'll never let _anybody_ put me in a cage."_  
_"__I don't want to put you in a cage, I want to love you!_

I don't know how long we stood there in the embrace, just feeling Jacob's breathe on my neck and the sound of the microwave beeping behind me alerting us that the popcorn was done. It didn't feel too uncomfortable, on some level I would've found it nice but I kept focusing on Jacob's hair irritably tickling my face and the microwave's beeping was annoying me.

After what seemed like an eternity, Jacob pulled back, but just enough to look down at me. He looked expectant as if waiting for something and then he started slowly bending down. With stark realization I realized, he was going to kiss me.

"The popcorn's done!" I exclaimed hurriedly as I pushed him off and fumbled with the microwave to get the popcorn out. I heard Jacob sigh behind me as I bee-lined for the living room.

* * *

**Super sorry for the really late update but anyway, here it is. Hope it doesn't suck too bad. I don't own Breakfast at Tiffany's but I do adore it, especially Ms. Hepburn. The origins of the 'Snuffles' nickname will be explained in the next chapter and Pet and the family go up north for Christmas. Yay! ^_^ **


	14. Chapter 13: Insight

_A moment's **insight** is sometimes worth a life's experience._ **- Oliver Wendell Holmes**

Uncle Jasper had a secret love for _CSI_. I wasn't quite sure why, none of us did really but something about the murder mysteries entertained him. He was always more into these old cowboy films that Uncle Emmett would tease him mercilessly about, so_ CSI_ was a little far off from that genre.

That night there was a _CSI _Marathon on TV and while everyone was busy doing all sorts of little hobbies that you need to start when you can't sleep at night, Uncle Jasper was, as you would expect, sitting on the couch languidly keeping his eyes on the large plasma. If he was human, you would've expected a big bowl of popcorn in his hand and maybe some soda or beer.

No one in the house really cared much for the show, they all had their different tastes in entertainment and gruesome murders with blood galore were not exactly ideal especially when it just made them thirsty. Aunt Rosalie told me once that that was Uncle Jasper's own form of masochism.

Dad used to watch with Uncle Jasper but the latter got annoyed after he kept getting the ending ruined since Dad was good at solving the mysteries. Aunt Alice used to watch too but she always got bored after the first ten minutes and spent the rest telling some random story completely uninvolved with the episode. As you can deduce by yourselves, Uncle Jasper didn't bother much with company anymore.

"You imagine drinking all the blood?" I remarked from the living room doorway, watching as my quietest uncle looked up from his amusement. "That's morbid, dear niece."

"But isn't that how vampires are thought of in vampire literature? Dark, morbid and evil?"

"And some people think you're all sugar, spice and everything nice. But we all know that that isn't true." He quipped back, his lips quirking into a smile. "You're more like aspartame, sweet and eventually deadly."

"I'm a cancer-inducing artificial sweetener?" I rolled my eyes "That's nice, Uncle Jazz."

He chuckled and motioned for me to take a seat beside him on the couch.

"What's this episode about?"

"Some murder mystery in a motel, Taylor Swift's guest starring."

"Really? I didn't know she could act."

He just shrugged, eyes focused on the flat-screen once again. I did the same for the next few minutes, getting myself absorbed in the storyline and characters. There were a couple of things I thought could've been done better and told Uncle Jasper who shared his own opinions as well.

"Why do you like this show so much anyway?" At the question, Uncle Jasper looked surprised for a moment before recovering. "I like seeing the reasons for why they do it."

"Do what?"

"There's this what they call 'a crime of passion', emotions overwhelm them to a point where they commit heresies. I like knowing what drives them to such a point."

"So you're basically honing your empathy skills in some way?"

"In a way, I am. I've studied different degrees of psychology over the decades, trying to understand the emotions and feelings of a person. Emotions are both physical and mental. Your emotions react due to the signals that you're brain sends. It's like the nerves in your body, they're able to 'feel' due to the signals your brain gives, that's how it can differentiate hot from cold for example."

"Summarizing the biology lesson?"

"Emotions can be triggered by the simplest of things. It could be a picture, a sound, even a person. For example, when I say…_Alice_, the first emotion that goes through you is light-heartedness. I can deduce from that alone that you like her, not like I didn't know that of course. When I say Rosalie, the first emotion you feel is respect. You look up to her. When I say Emmett, you feel amusement."

"And so on and so on. I kind of get it Uncle Jazz."

"Well, it's a lot more complicated than that. Unlike Edward who can read minds and know the answer right away, it's not the same with emotions. It's a lot more…volatile and you can never really get the reason for why they're feeling that emotion at that time. Like, when I say Edward, you feel… guilty." He looked at me thoughtfully. "The question is why would you feel guilty?"

I stamped down the surge of panic that surfaced and tried to look uncaring. I shrugged like there was nothing. "I guess you'll just never know."

He continued to stare thoughtfully at me for a moment, trying to formulate possible answers in his mind. After a second, he smiled in a way that told me he wasn't quite leaving the subject alone. "Well, you better get some sleep. You're getting up bright and early tomorrow."

I stared back at him for a moment, my brown eyes staring into his own gold ones as I tried to understand what he was thinking. It was times like these that made me wish I had Dad's powers instead. I broke eye contact first and turned back to the TV. "Right after this episode."

He didn't say anything else and we watched the rest of the episode in silence.

Hours later, I was woken up by Uncle Emmett (who snuck under the covers and pulled me off the bed by my ankles, shouting, "MERRY CHRISTMAS! IT'S TIME TO DIE!"). I screamed so loudly the neighbors decided to check up on us to see if I wasn't being murdered.

I was still a bit upset with Uncle Emmett as we were loading the cars that I forgo my usual ride with him and Aunt Rosalie since I was still upset over his unpleasant wake up call. My second choice was Uncle Jasper and Aunt Alice but the strange looks they were giving me were rather uncomfortable. Uncle Jasper looked like he was Jude Law's character Dr. John Watson in _Sherlock Holmes_, frustrated and thoughtful over a conundrum. Aunt Alice was beaming at me like the Cheshire cat and that was never a good sign. It made me a bit nervous to find out what they knew and decided it was safer to ride with my parents then be told of something strange in my future or worst yet, bombarded into answering questions I wasn't ready to answer yet.

Unfortunately, riding with my parents meant I had to sit beside Jacob at the backseat. Normally, the two of us would be playing some childish games in the car that would irritate my Dad until he went into his 'brooding face'. Dad had a pretty good brooding face and he never did stop nagging me about that incident when Jacob and I played punch buggy and we both ended up a bit bruised (It wasn't Jacob's fault we passed by an annual car show of all things!)

However, ever since the event in the kitchen with Jacob, I've never felt quite comfortable with him since. Which is really odd since I was his imprint, shouldn't I feel nothing but comfortable with him? Shouldn't I feel that pull of gravity he once explained to me about? Shouldn't I be thinking about nothing but him?

I was so focused on my thoughts that the car was in silence for most of the trip, it was only broken when Jacob started telling Mom about the phone call he received from Seth telling him about his imprint. I didn't remember much about Seth, I was around three when we left Forks and the only memory I had of him was a scrawny teenage boy who sometimes babysat me and tried to beat me at poker.

Sadly, Uncle Jasper was an excellent teacher and I became a pro at it long before I started elementary school. I don't think Seth ever got over a three year old beating him every single time.

I fell asleep somewhere along the trip and when I woke up we were already in Alaska. The Denalis where there to happily greet us.

"The Cullens are here, now we can start the festivities!" Aunt Tanya remarked with a large smile.

Aunt Kate spotted me and gave me a huge hug and even as I was a bit sleepy, I responded and greeted her accordingly. Uncle Garrett smiled at me and told me how tall I was already.

"You're what, around 5"6?"

"5"7,"

"Wow, you're tall for a girl."

"She takes after Edward." Aunt Kate smiled at him in that loving way mated couples did and he smiled back just as sweetly. The scene made my stomach twist in an odd way, like I was missing something and here it was, right in front of me. My thoughts went to Alec and I wanted to slap myself for thinking about him of all people. An odd scene with him smiling sweetly at me as I was doing the same to him flashed inside my head and I shook my head discreetly to get it off my mind.

"Hello Nessie!" Aunt Tanya enveloped me in a hug and smiled as she stepped back to observe me from head to toe. "You're so pretty now, even prettier than your mom actually." She smirked mischievously. "But don't tell her that. That'll be our little secret."

I couldn't help but smile back; almost laughing at the strawberry blonde's eccentric behavior. Aunt Tanya was constantly so full of life and color. She could almost always make me feel better. And right now? That's exactly what I needed.

* * *

**Just so you know, I've been sick with a cold and cough and I have exams, so my updating right now is a bit of a miracle. **

**We're so close to the end of this little vacation without Alec. He'll be back soon, just be patient. I really hope no one was too OOC in this chapter, I'm not quite sure if I was getting anyone right. **

**And I forgot to announce last time, the contest for The Path We Walk dedication is closed. The winner is LostInTheMomentinLove for her suggestion of Danielle Panabaker. Congrats to you!**

**Lastly, Dusk will be cut into two parts, since it's going to be dealing with two major conflicts. Pet's family was the first one, the second is the Volturi. The second part will be called, 'Equinox' (Points to who can guess where I got the title from). I won't immediately get started on Equinox though, I'll be working on The Path We Walk first. After Equinox, I have a sequel to Dusk-Equinox but Alec/Renesmee's more of a side pairing in it . The fic's about an original character. I have another Alec/Renesmee fic planned. It's more Alec-centric and it's incredibly AU (I got inspired by Angel re-runs), it's called, 'The Boy Who Destroyed the World'. **

**Special thanks to KaganeTheGreat (Allison) for listening to my rants again and for suggesting CSI. The episode they were watching is called 'Turn Turn Turn'. **


	15. Chapter 14: Realization Part I

_At the end, the __**realization**__ is that she had to get to a place in her life where she could drop her guard and make peace with the fact that whether she had a small amount of time, that she had to kind of live it completely through, instead of living by the rules._ **– Charlize Theron**

Christmas was celebrated as anyone can expect an episode of A Very Cullen Christmas to be like. Days were spent in a multitude of fun activities starting with three day-long snowball war between Uncle Jasper and Uncle Garrett, that only ended when both parties were chastised by their wives to stop _or else_.

I sled on the hill with Aunt Kate and Aunt Alice who somehow convinced Jacob to shift to his wolf form and pull it, earning him the name 'Jacob, the Red Nose Snow Wolf' from Aunt Rosalie.

And Uncle Emmett caused a minor avalanche while we were hunting for penguins. The house would've been snowed in for weeks if the men hadn't used their vampire speed and strength to shovel the snow off.

I haven't been able to hunt since I went to college, there weren't many woods nearby and so I opted to eat food at the time. Which I was okay with but I did miss the thrill of hunting, I missed my heart pounding in my chest as I chased down my prey and sunk my teeth into it. No food could compare to the taste of blood as it gushed down my mouth.

Aunt Tanya and Mom served a feast at Christmas dinner even though Jacob and I were the only ones eating. He didn't seem to mind in the least as he shoveled food down like he was a bear going to hibernate for winter. I didn't eat even a quarter as much but Aunt Tanya's turkey was scrumptious.

"So, Nessie…" Aunt Tanya started, the naughty gleam in her eyes sending warning signals in my head. "Are there any hot guys in college?"

"Tanya, please don't corrupt my daughter." Dad cut in before I could reply.

The strawberry blonde rolled her eyes at him. "I'm not going to teach her how to seduce and kill Edward." She shrugged carelessly. "Not yet, anyway."

He gave her the 'brooding look' as everyone else in the table laughed.

"_Guess what we're getting you for Christmas_," Aunt Alice whispered in a sing-song in my ear.

"A pony?"

She laughed, shaking her head. "Close,"

They got me a car. I was so happy I couldn't even begin to describe it but if I imagined my dream car, this was a whole lot better. It was custom-made; Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmett had worked on it for months and the result was this shiny machine with enough horse power to jump start the whole of Mobile. And did I mention it was shiny?

Of course, I only saw pictures. The real thing was back home safe in the garage, just waiting for my return. Which reminds me… "Won't I need a license?"

"I'll take you to take your test when we get back," Aunt Rosalie explained as I squealed again at the picture of her most brilliant creation. I could die of happiness right now if it was even possible.

Dad started playing the piano while Mom sat down beside him and watched as his fingers danced on the keys. Everyone else started pairing up and dancing. They all looked so graceful and it felt like watching one of those old black and white films as they twirled around like it was a lost moment in time. Except for Uncle Garrett and Aunt Kate who were amusingly dancing some rendition of the robot and swing

"Wanna dance, Nessie?" Jacob asked me suddenly, offering me his hand. I stared up at him from my seat before nodding and he pulled me up.

Jacob wasn't a very good dancer but years of tutelage from Dad made me more than able and so I subtly guided him on what to do.

"Remember your prom?" Jacob asked and I blushed in embarrassment. "You really have to remind me?"

He smiled sheepishly. "I just go reminded of it, all of a sudden. I was your date to the prom and I remember how pretty you looked in that–"

"-_pink_ dress," I groaned. "I'll never forgive Aunt Alice for that."

"You can hate me all you want but everyone agreed you looked cute." The female vampire in particular countered from across the dance floor.

My high school prom was not exactly something I want to remember, actually I don't remember it much to be honest. Dad agreed to let me go if Jacob would be my date, just to be safe because he didn't want to have to murder some randy boy for trying to book us a motel room or something.

I begged Aunt Alice for weeks to get me a decent prom dress and she instead got me this pretty dress that looked quite good on me but it was _pink_. And since she knew I despised the color with every cell in my body, she was just being sadistic. The night started of interesting enough with Jacob, who was wearing this suit he was obviously uncomfortable in, and we danced to rap music like clumsy idiots.

I don't remember why but I somehow got drunk and ended up puking all over the inside of the rabbit on the way home. I spent the next morning nursing my first hangover. Good times.

"The rabbit has never quite recovered from when you literally spilled your guts out all over it."

I gave him a dry look. "It's not like I meant to get drunk."

"Well the way you chugged down the punch was a little misleading."

"I didn't know it was spiked!"

"Nessie, the punch is _always_ spiked."

I glared at him as he continued to grin at me.

"Wanna go outside for a minute?"

I wasn't so sure about that but I said yes.

"Rendezvous, Black?" Uncle Garrett remarked laughing.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Head out of gutter. We're just going to talk."

"But isn't that the codename for it?"

"Shut up!"

The air outside was cold and if I was human I would've been rubbing my arms to get some warmth. It was the first time I was alone with Jacob since what happened in the kitchen and I can't deny that I've been avoiding him as much as possible. But you can only delay the inevitable for so long.

"You know I missed you."

I looked at him confusedly, uttering an articulate, "Huh?"

"I mean, I've missed hanging around with you. You're always seem to be doing things and stuff and I don't get to just hang out and talk with you anymore."

I felt guilty then. No matter what happened or not, Jacob was still my best friend and I_ liked_ spending time with him. "Jake…"

"Is this about what happened in the kitchen?" When I didn't answer he continued. "Look, I meant what I said." He stepped closer to me, taking my hands in his. "Nessie, I love you, you know that."

"I do and I love you too but not in the same way. I don't…I can't love you that way, before maybe but not anymore. It's not-"

"'-_you, it's me_.' Save me the clichés, Renesmee. Just tell me the truth."

I sighed, feeling suddenly weary. I owed Jacob the truth. "I'm in love with someone else."

"Does he love you back?"

The question sent a strong pang of doubt in me. Did Alec love me? "I don't know." The answer to that question scared me more than anything else.

"And if he doesn't?"

_I'd die of heartbreak?_ "I'll just have to live with that, won't I?"

He stared at me for a moment, dark eyes boring into mine before he laughed, bitterly. His hands dropped mine and he looked at the sky as if asking a question to the heavens. "It's kind of funny, in some really bleak way. Every time I fall in love with a girl, she goes around and picks someone else." He sighed. "It's kind of hard being just the almost-guy, you know?"

The guilt was growing, gnawing at my insides. I was a terrible person. What was I doing to my best friend? "I really am sorry, Jake. And you deserve so much more than being the almost-guy. And someday, you'll find someone, who won't treat you like that."

"But what if I don't want to?"

I looked at him incredulously. "Jacob…"

He smiled at me, eyes locked gently into mine. "I'm not giving up on you, Ness. Even if I have to be a complete stubborn idiot, I'm not just going to let you go that easy. I love you and I'll fight for you."

"But Jacob, you don't have to. You'll only hurt yourself."

"Maybe. But it'll be worth it, if somehow, you end up changing your mind." He was grasping at straws and at this moment, I felt so sorry for him. He didn't deserve to be the almost-guy, the second best. He deserved so much more.

"And what if I don't change my mind?"

He smiled diminished somewhat but it was still there, the hope still shining in his eyes. "I guess, I'll just have to live with that, won't I?"

When I went back inside, I couldn't take facing or talking to anyone after my conversation with Jacob, I felt so horrible at the moment. I was emotionally dragging the boy who was my best friend, the boy who was the one I was destined to love through broken glass. I was keeping him hoping for something that would never happen because no matter how many times I tried to deny it, I couldn't deny the truth anymore.

I was in love with a demented stapler happy vampire. And I was finally done fighting it.


	16. Chapter 15: Realization Part 2

_Self-observation brings man to the __**realization**__ of the necessity of self-change. And in observing himself a man notices that self-observation itself brings about certain changes in his inner processes. He begins to understand that self-observation is an instrument of self-change, a means of awakening._ **- George Gurdjieff **

I could see the realization setting in myself as I stared at my reflection in the vanity mirror. I looked scared and excited and confused. Everything I was feeling that felt like it was being amplified until it was almost as if I couldn't breathe anymore.

_I love Alec, I love Alec, I love Alec…_

The words sounded so odd and I was afraid that if I said them aloud something terrible was going to happen like the rivers turning into blood or a plague of locusts would come attack the house. It was absolutely crazy and I knew it. But it was so terribly true and it was already far too late to do anything about it.

Is this what love felt like? Because it wasn't really how I expected it to be when I was younger.

I was still staring at myself in the mirror, my attention drifting to the rust-colored curls, perfectly looped and styled without any effort at all. It reached up to my waist, long and flowing like a waterfall. I realized then just how much I _hated _my hair.

I opened the vanity's drawer to find a pair of scissors. I second guessed what I was doing before strengthening my resolve and I picked up the first lock of hair to cut.

I remembered how Mom used to tie them into pigtails when I was small, telling me how pretty it was. _Snip._

I remembered how Aunt Alice would style it into elaborate complicated styles for special occasions or just when she felt like playing life-sized Barbie doll with me again. _Snip. Snip._

I remembered how Jacob used to sniff my hair every time he hugged me. _SNIP. SNIP. SNIP.  
_

I remembered how Alec played with the locks, twirling them as he called me 'pet'.

My hand froze at that.

"If you're going to cut your hair, you might as well do it properly."

I turned in surprise to find Aunt Tanya at the doorway looking at the sight of me with a pair of scissors and the russet curls on the floor in amusement. She gracefully strode towards me. "Give me those."

I handed them over without a fight and she made me to sit down as she started running her hands through my hair. We were quiet as Aunt Tanya took a comb and started running it through the curls. "How short do you want it?"

I thought for a moment before replying. "Shoulder-length,"

The only sounds in the room for the next few minutes were the sound of the scissors and my heartbeat as Aunt Tanya snipped away at my hair, lock after lock of shiny beautiful curls falling to the floor like the snowflakes outside the house. I kept my eyes focused on the vanity mirror, watching as Aunt Tanya gracefully styled my hair. Aunt Rosalie was going to have a field day after she saw what I'd done .

"Who's the boy?"

I looked up, startled at the question. She gently positioned my head back into place. "The boy you've been mooning over the past week or I'd presume even before you came here."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Aunt Tanya."

"Of course you do. Don't play coy with me, Renesmee. I've known you your whole life."

I sighed. "They don't know about him."

"I guessed he wasn't Jacob. So, what's his name?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Is he bad news?" I didn't answer. "Renesmee, if there's anyone who's dealt with men more than anyone, it's me. You can tell me, maybe I can help."

"You can't."

"How are you so sure about that?"

"Because the boy wouldn't exactly be welcomed with open arms and did I mention that Dad knows about him and doesn't approve?"

She laughed softly. "Edward and his mind reading…big pain in the bum, huh?"

"Tell me about it."

"So…little Nessie likes a bad boy, who would've thought?"

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up."

"Don't I even get a hint to his identity?"

"No."

"Come on."

"No, Aunt Tanya."

"Please?"

I smiled, just about to laugh. "Not a chance."

"Come on!"

"No!"

As I expected, Aunt Rosalie did freak. Mom did too as she looked at Aunt Tanya like she was some traitor while everyone else politely complimented my new hairstyle. It felt weird cutting my hair, in a good way. I felt just a bit more liberated. It was something I did for me, just because I wanted to and it was nice. I didn't care about what my family wanted at the moment because it didn't matter. Besides it was just hair, it would grow back.

A little while later, I was awakened in my bed by someone prodding me in the side.

I blinked repeatedly as I tried to get the sleep out of my eyes. Confusion was clouding my still half-dead brain, not really registering what or who was sitting on my bed beside me. "Alec?"

He looked the same, same dark hair and red eyes, except instead of his usual arrogance there was bemusement and a hint of something else. "Hey."

"What are you doing here?" He winced at his answer. "I couldn't stay away."

I stared at him for a moment, trying to understand before just nodding and simply letting things go. I'd obsess about it later. "Are you staying?"

He shook his head. "No. I have to go soon." I was rather disappointed and couldn't stop myself from showing it. "Stay."

"Renesmee…" He looked pained, conflicted even. Something told me that he wasn't even really supposed to be here.

"Please?" I scooted back to make room on the bed, patting the other pillow beside my head. "Just for the night?"

He looked like he was going to argue with me for a moment, glancing at the door of my bedroom as if expecting someone to burst out and catch us before he sighed and lifted the duvet to get under the sheets. "I'll be gone in the morning," He murmured as I cuddled into his arms, my head resting on his collarbone. I could feel his fingers playing with my hair languidly. "You cut it."

"That's obvious." I quipped as my hand, played with the material of his shirt. He wasn't in his Volturi garb, instead dressed as casually as he did back in the college. "Why?"

"I just wanted to."

He was quiet for a moment; fingers still twirling my hair, his other hand covered my own on his chest, squeezing lightly. His skin felt impossibly cold but I didn't mind, something about being in Alec's arms made me feel safe, at home. It just felt _natural_.

"I like it." He finally said.

I snorted lightly, already feeling consciousness slipping away. "Like I needed your approval…"

I was already asleep before I know it, Alec's chuckle vibrating his chest the last thing I registered before I was welcomed into the darkness of slumber.

When I woke up the next morning, he was gone.

* * *

**I _missed_ Alec.**


	17. Chapter 16: Age

_**Age** is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough._ **– Groucho Marx**

We were going to leave the Denalis just a few days before New Year's. Aunt Alice insisted because of the annual ball the Strikers Independence Society was hosting on New Year's Eve. She'd been talking about it for months apparently and no one was brave enough to face her wrath if we end up missing it. As much as an extended family we thought the Denalis were, there was a party and missing one (for Aunt Alice) was sacrilege to its highest form.

I watched the progress from the front porch, Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rosalie were making last minute check-ups on the cars, Mom and Dad were giving their goodbyes to a sullen-looking Aunt Tanya, Grandpa Carlisle and Grandma Esme were laughing heartily over something and the rest were loading the luggage into the cars.

"You sure you can't stay any longer?" Aunt Carmen asked as she took the seat beside me on the porch steps. She and Uncle Eleazar had arrived back from Europe yesterday after visiting some old friends. Unfortunately, they came too late and now I had to miss spending time with them.

"Aunt Alice would _never_ let us forget if we miss that ball," I replied as the pixie of a girl passed by, handing bags to her bored-looking husband.

"This is unfair," Aunt Carmen sighed as she stared at me sadly. "I knew it. I told Eleazar we should've come home earlier."

I smiled sadly at the older woman. Even for a vampire Aunt Carmen was easily one of the most beautiful women I've ever met, with her Spanish looks, she looked like a classical painting. She had that same kind of grace as Grandma Esme, a regal air to them that set them apart from the rest. "It's alright. Summer's not that far away, I'll come by to visit."

She smiled back, her hand reaching up to pat my cheek affectionately. "You can come visit anytime you want, _bebe linda_."

I couldn't help grimacing. "I'm a little too old to be called that, aren't I?"

She laughed in response, shaking her head. "You'll always be that way to me, Renesmee."

Her words made me freeze. They stirred something inside me that made my stomach lurch in painful realization. _You'll always be that way to me _–Little, helpless Renesmee that needed to be protected. Pretty, sweet Nessie who needed to be pampered and given everything she wanted. Who didn't even get to make a choice about what she wanted because everything was planned out, who could do no wrong because she was the_ perfect_ child.

This image of me almost made me sick, it dawned on me that I would never be an adult in their eyes, no matter how many years, decades, millennia I age. Because this face would remind them of the little girl I once was and nothing would change that. That was right. I would always be a child in Aunt Carmen's eyes. And looking at everyone else, I knew that they would too.

"I…I should go help." I stumbled out as I got up and ran across the snow-covered yard.

"Hey Ness," Jacob greeted me brightly and a greeted back half-heartedly. "Need any help?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I can handle it. You just go off leave the heavy lifting to me here."

I felt a spark of irritation. "It's alright, I can take it." I held out my hands to take some of the bags on his shoulders but he refused to oblige, just grinning at me wider. "_Jake_." He shook his head, turning away from me to load them into Dad's car. I glared at his muscled back for a second or two before walking off towards Uncle Jasper and Aunt Alice who were finished loading their car.

"I'm riding with you guys, is that okay?" I was trying my best to control my temper. Jacob's obliviousness just darkened my mood even more. Aunt Alice exchanged a look with her husband before nodding and opening the car door for me. Aunt Alice suddenly looked at something behind me in surprise before saying something about forgetting something inside and sped off towards the direction of the house. I got in to the backseat, not really caring. My mood was just getting worse by the second and crossing my arms over my chest, I glared at the endless snow outside the car.

"I don't need my abilities to feel that hostility." Uncle Jasper quipped from the driver's seat. I could feel his eyes staring at me from the rearview mirror. "I'm fine."

"Renesmee…"

"Please don't push."

He sighed and I took that as a resignation. Aunt Alice was back a second later, a parcel in her hands that she quickly hid away before I could get a good look at it. "What'd I miss?"

Uncle Jasper merely shook his head, his eyes on me the whole time.

We spent the rest of the trip back in silence, which I was grateful for. It gave me peace with my thoughts as I brooded over my apparent position in life for the rest of eternity. It was already dark when we arrived and after helping everyone unload the cars, well more of _tried _since they just treated me the same way Jacob did, like a spoiled child throwing a tantrum, I went inside the house in a huff, climbing the stairs in a rush and closing my bedroom door with a loud _bang_ that echoed throughout the entire house. I collapsed on my bed, feeling exhausted even if I hadn't really done anything the whole day.

Because they wouldn't let me, of course...

"_It's alright, Nessie, no need to try and show off." _

Because I was helpless…

"_Need any help, Nessie?"_

Because I was so fragile…

"_Don't play with that, Renesmee! You could hurt yourself."_

Because I couldn't take care of myself…

"_She's a child, Edward. She doesn't know what to do."_

This was all a load of bullshit.

* * *

**Just had to put this in. Alec's in the next chapter, don't worry.**


	18. Chapter 17: Dreams

_Dreams are the seedlings of reality_ **– Napoleon Hill**

I stared at myself displeased at my reflection in the mirror. I was all dolled up with my hair in some complicated up-do that still left some curls to fall down my back shoulders. My make-up was mostly light except for the numerous layers of lip-gloss Aunt Alice subjected me too, making me look like one of those Barbie dolls she bought me when I was younger, all thick eyelashes and perfect skin. I was Barbie made to life, absolutely terrifying.

It had taken Aunt Alice hours to get this done and I was about ready to scream in impatience before she finally announced that it was finally over. But what I was truly upset about was my dress. The design was alright; it hugged my body modestly with a satin bodice and continuous layers of chiffon ruffles in graduated colors of_ pink_. Now that I thought about it, I looked increasingly a bit like Emma Watson in the fourth Harry Potter movie. Perhaps, that's where Aunt Alice got her inspiration?

"You look so pretty, Nessie." Aunt Alice whispered in my ear her eyes staring back at mine in the mirror. And when I turned to look at her, in her place was Mom.

"You're such a pretty little girl, Renesmee." She cooed affectionately, her hands reaching up to twirl my hair. I turned back to the mirror and saw my younger self, looking like a six-year-old with the curls in pigtails and the pink sundress with floral patterns.

I pouted at my reflection in discontent, shaking my head. "I'm not a child."

"But you are." When I turned to look, Mom wasn't there anymore but it was Jacob. He grinned at me warmly. "You'll always be little Renesmee. _My_ Nessie."

I frowned, not liking his words. I wanted to deny it, all of it. I wasn't a child, I wasn't little Nessie anymore. No, I wasn't. And I wasn't….I wasn't his. This was absurd. Why do they keep thinking I'm a child? I was an adult now, I wasn't a kid. _I was an adult!_

"Pet…"

I watched in awe as Jacob suddenly morphed into Alec. He was smirking arrogant as ever but his eyes…they were looking at me so gently and affectionately, I felt my heart melt if that was possible.

"I'm not a kid, Alec. I'm not." He snorted, rolling his scarlet eyes. "You're seven, you _are_ a child."

I glared at him in annoyance, peeved with his pointing out of that fact. In human years, I was still supposed to be in elementary school and in vampire years, I was an infant. I sighed and glanced at myself in the mirror, what I saw made my breath hitched. I looked like my regular age again except I looked different somehow. I was dressed in a long black dress that hugged my body almost seductively and I looked sexy, mature, all grown-up.

Alec was suddenly behind me, his arm circling my waist to pull me close, my back pressed against his chest. He was dressed in black attire that was similar to mine. Our clothes seemed to meld with each other in a sea of black silk. "You're exquisite,_ Pet_…" He murmured into my ear, pressing soft kisses along the shell as the hand around my waist began to trace ever-widening circles on my torso. "My pet, mine…" His breath was cold on my skin and made me shiver, both outward and inwardly.

"Forever?" I asked as his lips were on my neck leaving butterfly kisses as they traveled downwards to where my neck met my shoulder. He lightly bit into my skin, making me moan in delight. He chuckled. "_Forever_."

I woke up from my dream blinking in confusion at the ceiling of my room. I felt a strong compulsion to smile and I did and when the urge to, dear I say it, _giggle_ came upon me, I obliged just the same.

Breakfast was an awkward affair. I was still annoyed with Jacob about what happened yesterday…and then there was that dream. I'm not sure how my subconscious conjured that particular fantasy but I couldn't really find it in myself to complain since I quite liked the ending.

I thanked every God and deity out there for making my parents go out and hunt so my ever overprotective father would not be around to hear my thoughts and the inappropriate direction they were going. I could only imagine the look of pure horror on his face when he learned little Nessie could dream of a scene worthy of a PG-13 rating.

Alright, it wasn't really_ that_ bad but it was certainly more than any experience with boys I've ever had. When you have four overprotective men hovering over you, three are highly skilled and intimidating vampires and a werewolf that was almost the size of a bear with sharp teeth; boys weren't exactly knocking on my door and asking for a death wish.

My first kiss had been Jacob, during prom, a drunken and clumsy kiss that was interrupted because I proceeded to puke out everything I've ever eaten inside his car. Hardly a romantic experience like the ones you read about in romance novels.

After breakfast (which mainly consisted of me munching on cereal as Grandma Esme relayed some story about Uncle Eleazar and Aunt Carmen's adventures in Europe and Jacob looking at me desperately to look back at him and failing), I went outside to find Aunt Alice in her cheery yellow Porsche with my bags already in the trunk.

I thanked the Gods and deities again for giving me an aunt with incredible foresight.

* * *

**Alright, Alec makes his real comeback in the next chapter. I've been itching to do a dream scene for a while now and I'm happy that I finally have. It's come to my attention that people associate staplers and pencils/pens on ceilings to Alec now. I find it hilarious. And oh yeah, Equinox will be rated M. So any of you lovely people below the age of 15, please don't read it.**

** Lastly, I'm bored, so anyone can request for me to make a trailer for their fic, as long as it follows the following criteria:**

**1. Complete or updates very frequently. Have mercy on those people I'm going to lead on.**

**2. Novel or novella length. Short stories/drabbles/one-shots don't really need a trailer.**

**3. It's a fanfic that is Twilight/Harry Potter/basically any fandom I know.  
**

**4. If you have any casting/song/quote/whatever you want in it, TELL ME**.


	19. Chapter 18: Comfort

_There is no feeling more__** comfort**__ing and consoling than knowing you are right next to the one you love_ **- Anonymous**

The ride to the college was pretty uneventful with Aunt Alice being unnaturally quiet. I wondered for a few moments if she was upset or something but the chirpy humming she was doing told me otherwise. I was still a little concerned, she was still quiet and when she wasn't happily blabbing away about something, it meant she was planning something. Or she had a secret.

I was considering asking her about it but stopped myself. Secrets and Alice Cullen were a deadly combination. It was advised not to get involved with either of them.

I felt a sense of relief as the college came into sight, I actually missed the place. It was really the only place where my family wasn't around to hover over me every second. It was a sanctuary.

The Porsche stopped abruptly right outside the dorms; I couldn't stop myself from being pushed forward due to the force. Driving at top speed like maniacs was a Cullen family trait.

I rubbed my forehead that had previously collided on the windshield. "Thanks for the ride, Aunt Alice."

"Happy New Year, Nessie." Aunt Alice said as she hugged me. "Hope you had a lot fun."

"I did."

"Well, see you soon for the Mardi Gras." She smiled excitedly. "And don't forget about the Striker's ball on New Years'. I already saw the dress you're going to wear for it and you are going to look stunning."

"Can I hope that it's not pink?"

She merely rolled her eyes before hugging me again. "I'll see you soon."

I hugged her back. "Of course"

I undid my seatbelt, grabbed my bags in the backseat and turned to get out of the car but before I could even reach for the car door Aunt Alice stopped me.

"Sorry, I almost forgot." She said as she handed me a small present wrapped nicely in silver gift wrapper.

I was confused. "You already gave me a present."

She winked at me, smiling conspiringly. "Not from me, kid."

I looked from her to the present in confusion before opening the car door and getting out, muttering a small bye to Aunt Alice who drove the yellow Porsche off in seconds.

I stood standing there outside my dorm building for a moment, staring at the gift in my hands, wondering who it was from. There was no card to even give me a clue on who it was from. The curiosity was brimming in my nerves but I tried to stamp it down, telling myself it's probably just another gift from my family or the Denalis.

I couldn't control my excitement however as my hands started tearing through the silver wrapper and what I found was a compact black jewelry box. I stared at it dumbfound for a few seconds before finding the courage to open it and gasping at what was inside. Lying in the purple satin was a platinum charm bracelet, holding no more than three charms: a stapler, a pencil and a bat.

_Alec. _

I laughed, feeling the happiest I've been for a while. I got a few odd stares from some passersby but didn't mind them, I was in too much joy to care and with a skip to my step I went inside the dorms.

Upon entering my dorm room, I found Chelsie sitting on the dorm floor talking to…speak of the devil. She was talking to Alec.

"Hey Renesmee!" Chelsie greeted me as she stood up to give me a hug. "Hey Chelsie," I missed Chelsie too. She was a nice girl and could be quite sweet sometimes.

The redhead smiled widely at me. "Guess who's back!" She gestured to the vampire sitting on the foot of my bed, looking as bored as usual.

I tried to hide my excitement at seeing him and just nodded my head. "I can see that."

"I'll leave you two alone." Chelsie sent me a big smile and thumbs up as she passed by me to go out the door. I stared at the retreating back of the redhead feeling strangely amused.

"I've noticed she's back to giggling."

Depositing my bags on the floor, I turned back to Alec, who was looking around the room nonchalantly. "Yeah, she relapsed after you left." I took a seat beside him on the bed, lying back down to look at the ceiling. He lay back down and started playing with my hair again. It was starting to become a habit for him.

Watching his fingers twirl the bronze locks reminded me of my dream, the same fingers tracing my collarbone, the other hand traced circles on my belly as his lips nibbled at the skin of my neck.

My cheeks started to redden and I tried to fight it off. Being half-human could be troubling at times.

"I got your present." I held up my wrist to show the platinum bracelet glinting in the room's fluorescent lights. "You like it?" He tried to appear indifferent but I could see right through it. He was nervous and I found it both adorable and a little disturbing. Alec could be nervous. Who knew?

"Well, it is a little corny," I remarked only to have him respond with an annoyed glare. "But yes, I like it."

"Good." He lips quirked into a smile and I couldn't help but smile back. Everything felt right again and I didn't want it any other way. Lying there with Alec felt so amazingly right, I couldn't even begin to explain it.

The way he made me feel when I was in his presence, I don't know, I just felt better. All my problems weren't that important and there was nothing to worry over. He gave me that feeling of comfort and strangely enough, safety. How a Volturi guard could make me feel that way was past any sense of logic out there.

"One more thing," I looked at him confusedly. His hand kept playing with my hair but the look of accusation in his eyes made me gulp. "What did you do to my constellation?"

_Uh-oh._

I looked from him to the pencil-less ceiling and back to him again, my heart beating in my chest with the speed of a lab rat on drugs. His eyes had not looked away from me and his red narrowed eyes sent fear down my spine.

_I was dead._

I got up from the bed. "I gotta go." And with inhuman speed, I ran from the room, Alec giving chase in milliseconds.

* * *

**Corniness galore. **

**Alec's officially back. Did you miss him as much as I did? I know you did, you kept bugging me to bring him back since chapter eleven! I got really sick of the whining for a bit. XD**

**I googled and there are actual bracelet charms of a pencil and a stapler, I was so amused. Also, there is actually a fourth type of Alec. **_**Horny Bipolar Idiot**_**. **

**Who came up with the idea of Alec/Renesmee? I certainly didn't even know about till I saw the fanbase here. But really, who was the psycho who came up with this absurd ship? I have to go and praise his/her insanity.**

**And lastly, 'The Boy Who Destroyed The World', I warn you, will be incredibly AU as in no sparkling vampires and there will be fangs and such. 'The Path We Walk' is more of those What If? stories, my spin of a different ending in Breaking Dawn.**

**P.S. How do you feel about Nahuel?**


	20. Chapter 19: Disguise

_You can understand and relate to most people better if you look at them -- no matter how old or impressive they may be -- as if they are children. For most of us never really grow up or mature all that much -- we simply grow taller. O, to be sure, we laugh less and play less and wear uncomfortable __**disguise**__s__ like adults, but beneath the costume is the child we always are, whose needs are simple, whose daily life is still best described by fairy tales_ **– Leo Rosten**

Aunt Rosalie took me to get my license yesterday and I was proud to say that I passed with flying colors. All those hours of getting traffic laws drilled into my head finally did pay off and now I could drive my car whenever I want. I wasn't really much of a mechanic like Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmett but I appreciated a good working car end just sometimes would get in the driver's seat turn the engine on and listen to it practically purr.

This was the best gift ever. Their creation was the lovechild of a Viper Dodge SRT-10 and a Jaguar XJ220, an indestructible silver convertible that was armored and missile proof. It got awed looks wherever it went and some people thought I was some kind of government agent wondering why I would ever need such a car. I didn't really understand either but I was too happy to complain.

The car was incredibly fast to and could go up to three-hundred and ten kilometers per hour at top speed. Alright, maybe I understand why they decided to make it indestructible. With the speed I was going, I wouldn't be able to be dragged to jail because I'd probably end up running the car off a cliff.

But I couldn't really get myself to car that I was driving like I just escaped from hell's gates. Driving like a psycho was something you inherit in our family and I was no exception. I loved to keep the windows down and feel the wind in my face, making my hair fly and messing it up. I loved watching the sun through the tree branches and just feeling completely at peace. I could understand completely why they were also into driving and cars so much.

I was currently on my way to see them now.

Grandpa Carlisle and Grandma Esme were generally liked by basically everyone and got numerous invitations each year from the different mystic societies and tonight was the much awaited New Years Ball being hosted by the Strikers Independence Society. Being the oldest mystic society here in Mobile, they used to be one of the ones who participated in the parade during the Mardi gras but stopped a few decades back, that didn't stop them though to throw a party every year to commemorate the New Year.

This year's theme was Greek Mythology and upon arriving at the house, Aunt Alice had quickly dragged me upstairs to change while everyone waited downstairs all of them already dressed.

The gown Aunt Alice chose for me was made from a material that would switch from sea green to blue in the light. It showed more skin than I would've like with the tunic, outlining my body in a way that gave me more curve than I really had.

I watched as Aunt Alice got to work on my hair, shaking her head at the shorter locks, disabling her from styling them into the style she originally planned. She opted to style it up, weaving laurel leaves and small flowers into my hair.

"What are you supposed to be as?" I asked as I stared at the shorter green dress she wore with leaves sown into the material. She looked like a flower child. "I'm a nymph. I'm Aegle, to be exact."

I looked at her confusedly. "I thought we were all going as Gods."

"Gods and Goddesses are petty and spoiled while nymphs are a lot more carefree."

"And who am I?" I stared at my reflection in the vanity mirror, trying to figure out which said petty and spoiled Goddess I was. Aunt Alice smiled at me, arranging a stray curl of my hair back into place. "You are Calypso."

I raised an eyebrow at her in skepticism."She's not a Goddess."

"No, she was a sea nymph. Daughter of a Titan, she's forever cursed to be on the island of Ogygia. She fell in a love with a hero-"

"-Odysseus?"

"Yes. And she imprisoned him on that island until Zeus persuaded her to let him leave and be with his wife, Penelope. She tried to commit suicide afterwards but sadly for her, she's immortal."

I blinked at the mirror as she got to work on my make-up. Typical style she always used, small amounts on everything except for the lip-gloss "You can never have too much lip-gloss." She quipped as I snarled at the strawberry smell, wanting to wipe the sticky stuff off my mouth. I_ hated_ lip-gloss.

"Why'd you pick someone with such a tragic tale for me?" I asked, the question nagging me inside. I'd thought she would pick someone more lighthearted, Calypso's story was too heartbreaking and certainly not what I wanted happening to me.

She smiled at me, a quirk to her lips and a mischievous glint to her eyes. She was definitely meant to be more of a nymph. "Some romantic authors, fancy that Calypso ended up falling for Hermes and he spent the rest of his immortal life with her."

Hermes? The mischievous messenger of the Gods?

"There, all done." Aunt Alice made me stand up and turn so she could admire her work. Nodding to herself, she announced I was perfect. We made it downstairs a second later and I took the moment to try and identify who they were all dressed as.

Grandpa Carlisle was Poseidon. I quickly deducted at the sight of his Triton with Grandma Esme, of course, as his wife, Amphitrite. She looked breath-taking in her sea blue gown, a true Goddess, gentle, kind and beautiful.

Aunt Rosalie was Aphrodite, with her blonde locks and red lips, any mortal would've fallen to her knees. Uncle Emmett was Ares, dressed up for battle with a way too realistic looking sword in hand, he continued to shout "This is Sparta!" in a booming voice.

"Wrong movie, Uncle Em," I told him as I passed by. I found Aunt Alice who was beside her husband, I tried to guess who Uncle Jasper was supposed to be but it was too vague too figure out. He was obviously not a God since he was dressed in the armor via _Troy_. "I give in. Who are you? Heracles? Perseus?"

The blond shook his head at me, smiling. "Theseus," I nodded, taking his appearance in. With all the wars Uncle Jasper had fought, I was surprised he'd not rather go as Ares instead.

At seeing Jacob, I promptly burst into laughter. I couldn't control the raucous laughter escaping my mouth. Jacob dressed like a Minotaur with the horns and hairy goat legs was just too much bear for any being, immortal or not.

"Ha-ha, very funny, Ness."

I tried to stop my laughter and failed. This was too priceless and I wished I had a camera. This was gold, one of the things I'd never forget in my half-vampire life.

"Control yourself, Renesmee." Dad's voice cut in and I turned to find him dressed in a dark toga that made him look both refined and dangerous at the same time. Mom was dressed in midnight blue, almost black with little white diamonds sparkling in the light. It was like she was wearing the night sky and it set off her pale skin spectacularly.

I grinned in delight as I realized who they were. "Hades and Persephone."

* * *

**I grew to like the idea of Calypso and Hermes after reading this book called Quicksilver. It made me love Hermes too.**

**You can go check out all those Gods, Goddesses and other mythical beings on Google. **


	21. Chapter 20: Reveal

_The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you, but what he cannot __**reveal**__ to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says, but rather to what he does not say_ **- Kahlil Gibran**

Parties and my family were always an interesting combination. While my grandparents are the most polite people you will ever meet and could pull people towards the effortlessly, the rest of my family was just a little bit short of disaster. And they spent the time mostly with their prospective partners whether dancing or off for a rendezvous in the gardens (_Gross_).

There were a few kids I remember seeing at the college but I didn't bother talking to them since we weren't particularly close. And socializing when the entire brood was around was ill-advisable. They would just end up being mentally and emotionally traumatized in some way.

Yes, my family, as much as I loved them, was_ that_ bad.

That's right, sitting on the balcony railing with Jacob as my only company was safer for everyone.

"THIS. IS. _SPARTA_!"

I grimaced at the sight of Uncle Emmett and his new friends, the other "Spartans", they'd been yelling that all night and seeing the faces of their wives, I wasn't the only one sick of it.

"Really immature, huh?" Jacob the Minotaur said from his seat beside me.

"Said the pot to the kettle," I rolled my eyes. "Jake, you reinvented immaturity."

"Yeah but did I ever scream about being a Spartan?" He countered. "That's just juvenile."

"Said the_ King_ of Juvenile. Remember your little schemes when I was younger? Like telling me to put my pet frog inside the microwave?"

He held his hands up in defense. "Hey, I just told you to. You pressed the start button all on your own."

I gritted my teeth in annoyance. "Shut it, you horned-freak. It was still your fault and because of you Mr. Froggy ended up splattered all over the kitchen walls."

"Mr. Froggy had it coming. He looked at me the right way and _splat_," He smacked his fist into his palm for emphasis. "Explode did the Froggy intestines and all."

"You are evil…just _evil_."

He shrugged nonchalantly, laughing to himself. "Whatever you say, Monster Girl,"

I rolled my eyes and turned around to look at the view of the gardens. The house the party was being hosted was quite beautiful, it had that classic feel to it like it's been around for decades and from the stories the owner regaled us with earlier, it probably was.

Despite the noise from the party, it felt peaceful there in the balcony. The moonlight illuminating the darkness and yet still leaving shadows to hide its secrets, it felt like I was in those classic novels Mom read. Where they talk so formerly and dressed with lace and pearls. I could get lost in a world like this.

"Nessie…" Jacob started. "You know I love you…"

I groaned, closing my eyes as if in pain. I didn't want this to ruin my night when I was so relaxed. "Jake, not tonight"

"Hey, just hear me out, okay?" When I didn't protest, he continued. "I love you. And that's easy for me to say because I know with my entire being that I do love you. Can you tell me if that guy can do the same?"

I stiffened at his words and tried to hide my anxiety with a smile. "What guy?"

He gave me a look. "Don't feed me bull, Ness. I overheard you and Tanya talking during Christmas Eve."

I felt a wave of irritation. "You eavesdropped on me?"

"I just wanted to see if you were okay…and then I heard." I sighed. "Nessie, who's the guy?"

"That's none of your business." I answered briskly, wanting this conversation to end.

"Why are you so adamant not tell me who he is? Is he dangerous?" I snorted. Definitely. "Does he love you?"

All thoughts ceased in my mind and all I could focus on was the thought of Alec, the thought of Alec loving me.

Did Alec love me?

He was a Volturi guard, he was Alec, one of the most powerful vampires in the world. He was dangerous, cold and heartless. But there was that side of him he'd shown me. The way he looked at me and acted around me sometimes made me wonder, he was so gentle and affectionate. And by that, maybe he does love me. Loves me, the half-breed freak, an abomination he was supposed to hate.

Jacob was at my ear, whispering. "Does he love you, Nessie?"

It just sounded so impossible. Alec couldn't possibly love me and the thought of that sent an ache to my chest that made breathing hard like led weights was pulling it down. The idea of Alec not loving me hurt so much I could barely stand it.

"Will he love you like I do?"

I wanted to cry and the tears were sprouting from my eyes before I could stop them. I've been keeping so much of it in that I'd reach my breaking point. All the stress from my family, keeping Alec a secret and Jacob wore me down to a point, I felt so burned out. I wanted to collapse from exhaustion, sleep in my warm bed for days like a hibernating bear.

Distantly, I could hear all the people inside counting down for midnight. Fireworks were exploding at the sky, splashing color in the dark starless heavens. I would've usually been enjoying this, watching the fireworks and counting down for the New Year. But right now, I just felt so wretched, I wanted to break down.

"_9" _

Alec doesn't love me. Alec wouldn't love me. Alec couldn't love me.

"_8"_

I felt so sick, I was dizzy and I felt like puking out everything I've eaten for the past week. I suddenly felt faint and I leaned on the balcony railing, pressing my forehead to the cold marble as I started to sob.

"_7"_

"Nessie…" Jacob's hot breath was on my neck and his hand started tracing comforting circles at my back. "It's okay."

"_6"_

"No, it's not…" I sobbed out. The boy I love doesn't love me back, how the hell is that okay? Nothing could make this situation any better._ Nothing_.

"_5"_

"Nessie, stop crying, please," Jacob pulled me up effortlessly like a weightless doll and I ended up leaning on him as a result, I cried into his bare shoulder, not caring if I was getting him all wet. He didn't seem to mind and said nothing, his hand patting my head gently.

"_4"_

"I love you. I'll _always_ love you more than he ever will."

"_3"_

I stopped sobbing and looked into warm, brown eyes.

"_2"_

His head inclined towards mine and suddenly I couldn't breathe as his lips were on mine. He kissed me with a subdued passion, his lips moving against mine sweetly.

"_1"_

But this was wrong.

"_HAPPY NEW YEAR!"_

I pushed him off and he looked at me dazed and confused. I shook my head at him in disgust; I felt violated and resisted the urge to wipe my hand on my mouth. "Screw off, Jacob."

I turned and walked out the balcony doors, not looking back once. My night was completely ruined now and I wanted to go home. I stopped walking for a moment as I wondered where that was.

I realized it was wherever Alec was.

* * *

**Feel free to bash Jacob all you want.**

**I am on a roll right now. I mean, we're more than half-way done with this story! You have no idea how excited I am to just finish this so I could move on to my other projects.**

**And I noticed, a lot of people favorite this story without reviewing. That's not very nice. Give me reviews, I am greedy person who updates incredibly frequently now. Reward me.**


	22. Chapter 21: Annoying

_No enemy is so __**annoying**__ as one who was a friend, or still is a friend, and there are many more of these than one would suspect _**– William Saroyan**

January came as quickly as can be expected. Christmas vacation ended and classes started, I found it a welcome relief. College gave me a routine and schoolwork, something that I enjoyed focusing on besides my dramatic love-life.

Jacob had been calling me non-stop since the New Year's party and I responded by turning my phone off for the next few days much to my Aunt Rosalie's chagrin since she thought something bad might've happened to me because I wouldn't answer any of her calls. I was forced to turn my phone on again and just had to tolerate its incessant ringing given that my new furry stalker was not going to let up soon.

On the other hand, my other stalker, Alec was back to his annoying and strange ways. After reconstructing his lamia constellation (threatening to use all his little talents with me if I tried to even touch it), Alec was diligently practicing his hobbies of wasting colored staples and making everyone on campus think we were a couple (because he was an eccentric weirdo).

Just the other day, the waitress at Jericho Café had happily greeted us, congratulating us for settling our differences and making up. Alec, ever the demon of mischievous incarnated, had done nothing to correct her and in fact, he even played it up, telling her the story of our 'break-up' in great detail. A highly fabricated tale about me leaving him for an older Russian man that could've been my grandfather in age named 'Gustav'. And Alec, the hurt party in all of this, found a way to overcome his heartbreak and win me back by beating 'Gustav' in a beer drinking contest.

I could only stare at him oddly as he told the bizarre tale to the waitress who looked close to tears. Who was this vampire really? What planet did Alec come from?

"I come bearing food." Alec's drawl snapped me out of my thoughts instantly. I looked up from the textbook I was trying to (but failing to) read since my thoughts were drifting unto things that would no doubt not help me pass my finals. The drama in my life was starting to take a toll on my studies.

I blinked in surprise at the bar of Cadbury double-decker chocolate now lying happily on my desk, the silver foil under the blue wrapper winking at me temptingly. Resisting the urge to start devouring the thing like a happy little child would do, I turned to the giver in question.

"Valentine's day isn't until February, you know."

He sneered. "First of all, I don't celebrate Valentine's day. Don't make me elaborate why or I'll paralyze you for the whole day." That was his favorite threat these days and so far he hasn't acted on it. _Yet_. "B, that's a gift with an agenda, so you shouldn't feel grateful." A gift with an agenda_? Oh God_… "And three, coinciding with the gift giving rule you cannot be a bitch to me for twenty fours, that means you have to be nice to me."

I raised an eyebrow at him as I asked, "When I have never been nice to you?"

"Just two hours ago, you threatened to hack my head off with a rusty butter knife and that was _after _you were going to burn my face with a glue gun and engrave 'Renesmee's bitch' on my forehead."

I shrugged carelessly. I could get quite creative with my threats when I was angry. "Well if you didn't tick me off so much… and I only threaten you with such things when you're being a bother."

"Which in your crazy little head is every second I'm with you."

I rolled my eyes. I was really starting to get tired of this. "Alright, could we skip this? Let's move on to your gift with an agenda thing."

The effect on him was immediate and the mischievous smirk I've been seeing quite a lot lately was there present. It made me wish I had that glue gun I was planning on wrecking his pretty face with, it couldn't do any real damage to him with the granite-hard skin but I bet it would still hurt like hell.

"Let's play twenty questions."

I stared at him in confusion. That was not what I was expecting to hear. I was thinking something more outlandish like making me dance in a chicken suit in front of a crowd (Uncle Emmett) or making me join a beauty contest and then make some crazy speech about the mating rituals of sharks during the last question (Uncle Emmett, Aunt Rosalie and Aunt Alice).

But then again, I have to remember that Alec was not like my family and his idea of embarrassment was not to such a large scale as theirs.

His smirk widened and his red glinted in that wicked that made my gulp in anxiety. I don't know what was going through his mind and quite frankly I didn't want to know. Alec was an enigma and I was sure that getting inside his head was like taking a walk in a dark, abandoned place with a serial killer. You had to be stupid to think you'll escape there without injury.

"Twenty question but with absolutely no restrictions." He continued. "I can ask whatever I want and you have to answer them."

"And if I don't?" I countered defiantly. He was a fool to think I'd go along with this willingly.

"I'll take away your sight for the next few days. Seeing you try to get to classes literally blind has got to be amusing." He smiled sardonically at me as I glared, wanting to throw the chocolate bar at his face. How dare he use such a thing for his own sadistic means? Well, of course, because he was _Alec_.

"Shall we get started?" He was sitting down on my bed, looking as comfortable as ever like he owned the place. How I wanted to make do with the glue gun threat but that would wind me up with either going blind, deaf or completely paralyzed for an indiscernible amount of time. Knowing Alec, he would keep It up for _weeks _if he wanted.

"Not like I have a choice in the matter." He rolled his eyes at me. "Fire away."

Before he could ask his first question, my phone started ringing again. Death Cab for Cutie's _Meet me on the equinox_ played loudly in the room.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Alec gestured to the small silver phone vibrating on my desk, asking wildly for my attention.

I picked my phone up and checked to see exactly was interrupting the start of my embarrassing torture session. But of course, Jacob. I tamped down the urge to throw my guiltless phone at the nearest wall and pressed down on the 'cancel' button with more force than necessary.

"Who was that?"

"Jacob."

"Ah, the mutt. I can hear some hostility in your voice, trouble in doggy paradise?"

I threw him a sharp look. He grinned. "I'm right, aren't I? You must be really hating him right now." His eyes widened theatrically as an idea came to him. "I know, let's start a club. The A.M.S, the Anti-Mongrel society,"

I snorted. "Who would even bother to join that?"

"Your dad, your uncles and aunts, Caius…"

"They don't hate Jacob!"

"No, I'm pretty sure Caius doesn't love him."

I sighed, getting exasperated. Alec, when he got in the mood, was unstoppable. "I meant, my dad doesn't hate Jacob. And neither do my uncles and aunts."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure." I snapped, getting more than a little annoyed with him. What was up with him, acting like he knew my family more than I did?

One moment he was sitting on the bed, the next he was in front of me, his cold hand clutching my wrist in a firm grip. He tugged on the arm he held with a small amount of force, just enough to draw my attention to it. "Who handed this to you?" He pointed to the platinum charm bracelet he gave me as a present for Christmas.

"You did." What was he up to? He shook his head. "No. Someone else handed it to you, remember?"

I opened my mouth to protest but then it dawned on me. _Aunt Alice…_

_

* * *

_

**I'd like to explain something from the last chapter since none of you really got it. There was a reason for everyone's costumes. Alice dressed Pet up as Calypso because she was thought of as a romantic interest of Hermes by some authors. (If you remember my character rant, I compared Alec to Hermes. Big enough hint for you?) Alice dressed Jasper up as Theseus who was known to slay the minotaur in King Minos' labyrinth. She dressed Jacob up as a minotaur which hints that she supports Alec/Renesmee.**

**Finished the trailer for Equinox. Lots of Alec/Renesmee scenes. You can watch it here: **.com/watch?v=-yz8c6DFmAI


	23. Chapter 22: Questions

_**Questions**__ are never indiscreet: answers sometimes are_ **– Oscar Wilde**

I was overcome with shock and it showed. I was gapping at him, eyes as wide as saucers. "You talked to Aunt Alice?"

"And her husband. They're quite an odd pair, those two."

I was confused. "What… how…when?"

"Christmas Eve at the Denali coven's cottage. I came to see you, remember? I was outside in the snow, wondering to myself if I was both suicidal and crazy when those two came out and started talking to me about my feelings for you and some kid named 'Andy' or something." He shrugged. "They looked pleased to see me much to my bafflement and they helped me sneak into the house later that night."

That would explain why Jacob didn't burst through the door and mauled him to death when he was in my room. Uncle Jasper and Aunt Alice must've been distracting everyone.

"And the present?"

"I gave it to Alice the day you were leaving to go back here."

This was a little much to process. "Wait, are you saying, they helped you because they prefer you over Jacob?"

"Well, who wouldn't prefer me over a flea-ridden dog?"

There he went again. I could never get a straight answer from him.

With my free hand, I pinched the bridge of my nose; an upcoming headache was quickly approaching. I was close to pounding my head against the wall. Everything was simply not making sense anymore.

I had stumbled into an alternate universe. That was the only way to explain the things that were currently happening in my life.

I wasn't supposed to hate Jacob and love Alec instead. Uncle Jasper and Aunt Alice should hate Alec's guts instead of being his partners in crime and helping him with me. Alec should've gotten me the caramel-filled chocolate instead of the nuts and berries one. I shouldn't be fine with It anyway nor enjoying his hand caressing the sensitive skin of my wrist.

"How about we start with the questions, now?"

I nodded, disentangling my hand from his. I couldn't think properly when he was touching me. "You have seventeen more."

He looked at me incredulously. "What?"

"You asked me if I was going to answer my phone. That was one. You asked me who was calling me. That's two. You asked me if I wanted to start with the questioning. That's three. And you asked me what. That's four all in all. You have sixteen questions left."

He looked outraged. Mouth closing and opening like a drowning goldfish. "Those didn't count!"

"Of course, they did."

"No, they didn't."

"Yes, they did."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"No."

"Yes!"

"Great!" I grinned in self-satisfaction as his eyes widened in realization. "Just sixteen more to go."

He glowered at me, red eyes murderous. "Fine." He bit out. "Let's begin."

I leaned back in my chair, readying myself for the barrage of embarrassing questions. Alec's unblinking stare was making me uncomfortable; the smug smirk that reappeared on his face made me want to run far away and never come back.

"First question."

"Fifth."

"_Quiet_." When I did, he continued. "What's this imprinting thing with the mutt all about?"

I sighed, not really wanting to talk about this. But I started to explain anyway. "It's sort of like a 'soul mate' the wolves in La Push all go through with it. Their 'imprint' is the one completely compatible for them, biologically, personality-wise, in everything."

"Is it what it's like with you and the mutt?"

I stiffened in my seat, not liking any of these questions. "I'd rather not answer that."

"You have to." I could practically hear the 'or else' in his voice. I sighed. "No."

"Why not?"

I bit my lip. I really didn't want to answer this.

"Pet…"

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and just let the words tumble out in a fast rush of syllables. "Jacobkissedme."

If Alec had been human, he wouldn't have understood that but since he was a vampire and had all the advanced senses, he understood me clear as day. I was nervous about his reaction. Would he get angry? Be disappointed? I mean, we were….well ,not exactly dating. But there was something there and I couldn't help but think he wouldn't be too happy with Jacob kissing me.

"I know."

He knew? How the hell did he know? "You're not angry?" In fact, he looked anything but. He was calm like I just told him something mundane like the weather.

He shook his head. "No,"

"Why not?" I didn't know why I felt disappointed. I thought it would entice a bigger reaction from him, like he would go and break Jacob's jaw or something. I mentally smacked myself. Why was I fantasizing about Alec doing bodily harm on Jacob?

Alec's chuckled filled my ears and I looked up at the crimson eyes staring down at me. "Because," He said slowly. "I know you weren't thinking about him the whole time," He started playing with my hair again, his eyes gentle. "You were thinking about me."

His smile was smug and I wanted to hit him for it. But I couldn't find it in myself to do so; my face was too busy burning, in shame perhaps? Because it was true, all I could think about was Alec during that kiss. How softer Alec's lips were, how Jacob didn't taste anything like Alec and how I wished I was kissing Alec instead of him.

He smiled wider, pleased. "Oh you were." His fingers were caressing my cheek now, soothing the burning in them with his cold touch. "Were you, Pet?"

"Yes." The word escape my lips before I could stop it but I couldn't really find it in myself to care. Alec's eyes were locked on mine, a look in them that felt smothering and gooseflesh was appearing all over my skin. His fingers travelled to my lips, tracing them lightly.

"Did you wish you were kissing me instead?"

"Yes."

His fingers dropped from my mouth and in a blur, I found myself on my feet and trapped against my desk, the hardwood digging into my back. Alec was close, so close his cold breath fanned my face. His eyes were like dark pools of red wine, intoxicating. His body was pressed against mine, his chest against mine as my heart beat so rapidly, it felt like it was going to burst. I felt feverish, lightheaded, sick but in a good way. I liked this feeling, every emotion he was enticing from me right now.

His eyes were half-lidded and they stared down at my lips, his hand reaching up to rest on my hip as the other circled my waist and pulled me even closer to him. He whispered, barely audibly."Do you want me to kiss you?"

"Yes." I was never sure of anything I wanted more than that at the moment. I wanted to feel his lips again, so soft with that odd taste of spice and mint. I never felt this ache before, this want.

"Say please." He whispered in my ear.

"Please."

His lips were on mine instantly. It was a lot different from the last kiss we shared. It wasn't rough but gentle, a sweet meeting of lips, slow and burning with a quiet passion as we gently explored the taste of each other. But it still had the same effect on me, I felt completely consumed by the kiss, by Alec.

I wanted to deepen the kiss but Alec pulled away, resting his forehead on mine as his eyes, half-lidded seemed to smile down at me. I wanted him to kiss me again and I pouted at him in annoyance.

"One more question." He tried to soothe me by his hand caressing my cheek softly while the other one on my hip traced ever widening circles.

I groaned in impatience. Feeling like the spoiled child I was a few years ago, whining when I didn't get what I wanted. And right now, that was Alec. "I'm tired of questions."

He chuckled, his voice husky and it made me shiver. "Just one." I nodded and he continued, his hand moving from my cheek to my hair, tangling in the curls. "Pet…." He started slowly. His lips were on my neck, trailing butterfly kisses as he traveled down my throat. I tried to stifle my moan as he sucked on a sensitive spot on my collarbone. _Oh my…._

He stopped again and I groaned in frustration. _That bloody tease…_

I was surprised as I looked into Alec's eyes, I've never seen so much emotion in them before. He looked nervous and afraid but that gentleness was still there. Almost loving. "Do you love me?"

I stiffed in his arms at the question. It was not what I was expecting at all for him to ask but just as quickly I relaxed. That wasn't a hard question for me. I've known since that night on Christmas Eve, the reason why I couldn't love Jacob back was because I loved Alec. He made me feel in ways I've never felt before and I didn't want that to end. Alec made me feel safe and happy and brought out a passion in me I didn't even know existed.

I loved him. I loved his face, I loved his voice, I loved that gentle look he would give me, I loved him even when he annoying the hell out of me. I loved him and his weird hobbies. I loved how his was unlike anyone I've ever met. I loved him even when he was being a total jerk.

It was my first time to feel this way about anyone and I was scared of what I was feeling but I didn't want it to go away. I didn't want Alec to go away because I've went through life without him in it and I know I can live without him…but I don't want to. I want him around annoying me, forever.

It was an easy answer. "Yes."

He smiled the happiest smile I'd ever seen from him and his lips met mine again, consuming me in that passion that made me tingle from down to the tips of my toes. He tugged on my bottom lip and deepened the kiss, his tongues dancing with mine in a dance as old as time.

* * *

**Are you all happy? I'm sure you are.**

**Any of you read this Edward/Bella fic called "Prey"? That's like one of my favorite fics and it's written by a Filipina too! How cool is that?**

**And oh yeah, I made an Alec/Renesmee community for the best Alec/Pet fics here. It's called "The Monster's Pet" **

**Link: **.net/community/The_Monsters_Pet_Alec_Renesmee/80065/


	24. Chapter 23: Wander

_When twilight drops her curtain down and pins it with a star, remember that you have a friend though she may __**wander**__ far._ **- Anonymous**

Springhill Medical Center was not much different from most hospitals Grandpa Carlisle had worked in. It wasn't as big as some like the ones in California and New York but it had a friendlier feel to it with the pastel painted walls and happy pictures on them. But it was mostly the same with the floors scrubbed so clean I could see my reflection gleaming off them, the fluorescent lights aesthetically bright and the sterile smell of alcohol heavy in the air hiding the stench of blood and other bodily fluids.

I watched the nurses and doctors chat with each other aimlessly looking tired and sometimes serious and not. The receptionist was constantly on the phone talking to her friend about her new boyfriend, the janitor was mopping the already clean floors at the end of the hall, whistling while he did so and Chelsie was being difficult as the nurse tried to make her swallow the prescribed painkillers.

The sounds all invaded in my ears like of frantic buzzing bees sometimes understandable and sometimes they were just mindless gibberish. Being half human meant my abilities weren't as acute as a regular vampire but they were enough, I didn't have to deal with venom and sparkling in the sunlight at least.

From her hospital room, Chelsie made whining noises as the nurse, starting to get frustrated with her, tried to get her to take the medicine again. I could feel pity for her, I had to deal with my roommate's drunken behavior from time to time and even more so these past few days when she and Greg Bloome officially started dating and that entitled her to be invited to all his meaningless parties.

The latest one in particular had her dancing on table tops and falling off, breaking her left leg in the process. A girl from my English class had enough sense to text me about the incident and here I was, sitting in the hospital's cafeteria, tapping my fingernails impatiently on the table as I could hear Greg retching his guts out in the boys' restroom.

Alec was sitting across from me, grimacing in disgust at the vomiting sounds and at the same time looking as impatient as ever.

"How long do we have to be here?" He asked, implying that he really didn't want to be there. I couldn't blame him, I was never really fond of hospitals, I always preferred forests where I could run in and climb trees all days.

"Just until the doctor gives the all clear," I was Chelsie's emergency number. Her family lived five states away making it difficult to come over that often. Especially at around four o'clock in the morning when they were probably still asleep and didn't want to hear about their daughter's drunken escapades.

Not everyone was like my family.

Uncle Emmett would never let me forget it if I was in Chelsie's position. He would mock me about it for the next millennia, Dad would give speeches about proper behavior, Mom wouldn't let me out of her sight and Aunt Alice would decorate my cast.

Just lovely.

Thank God, I would never need a cast.

The retching noises stopped and I guessed that Greg most likely was passed out drunk on the bathroom floor. Out of common decency, I asked Alec to take the guy home. He immediately did as I asked.

Alright, he looked at me distastefully for a full minute, calling me a 'bleeding heart Mother Theresa' before doing as I asked.

Okay, fine, after a few death threats involving him, a jackhammer and a burning trailer.

It's not my fault the men in my life were stubborn and annoying. I was a magnet for them. Like Mom tended to be a magnet for trouble, vampire or not, things just_ happened_ around her. It was more than a little alarming at times.

The doctor came to talk to me right after Alec's departure and told me that they were keeping Chelsie overnight for observation which I summed up to Chelsie's inebriated state made most things impossible with her. It took me twenty minutes to get her in my car just to get here and if not for Alec's help, Chelsie and Greg would've found some way to get us driving straight into Mobile Bay.

After visiting a sleeping Chelsie to make sure she was alright, I started wandering around the hospital halls, the constant strum of the hospital in my ears and my thoughts jumping from one thing to another.

Alec wasn't back yet and I kept on walking and walking, going up stairs, mindless of where I was going. I barely took in the people I passed by and politely rebuffed some who asked if I was lost. Vaguely, the hospital felt familiar to me and I accounted it to the numerous hospitals I've been to in the past years, often visiting Grandpa Carlisle in his spare hours.

A receptionist made me stop when she greeted me by my first name. I stared at her in confusion as she kept talking and explained Dr. Cullen was in surgery at the moment and wouldn't be available for some time.

Dr. Cullen….surgery….Springhill Medical Center, I pieced the words together in my head and wanted to smack myself as I remembered that Grandpa transferred from Providence Hospital a few months ago. That explained why the place looked so familiar, I had been there before.

I said my thank you to the receptionist, Grace, I read on her name plate and walked off to go look for Grandpa Carlisle's office which was at the end of the hall.


	25. Chapter 24: Doubt

_There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills._ **– Siddharta Gautama**

Taking a seat on the leather desk chair, I took in the white and light blue walls, the dark blue carpet and glass desk indifferently. Grandpa never decorated his offices much. He reserved self expression at home where all the classical paintings and artwork were kept.

There weren't any medical degrees to be found hanging on the walls, they were at home too but that was mostly due to the dates being a little to suspicious with Grandpa looking_ far_ too young to be alive at those times.

But on his desk you could see a few framed pictures of our family. One was of him and Grandma Esme, arms around each other, smiling with the Arc de Triomphe behind them. Another was of Grandpa and on my fourth birthday, we were laughing at something I couldn't quite remember what. And another was of everyone in my first Christmas, we were all sitting in the living room floors, the Christmas tree in the background as I shamelessly tore through presents getting gift wrapper and tape everywhere, meanwhile Uncle Emmett jumped into the mess as everyone laughed at his antics.

I remember this Christmas quite clearly. I got a golden locket from Mom engraved in French with the words 'more than my own life', inside were photos of her, Dad and myself.

I got an mp3 player from Dad which no longer works since an incident with Uncle Emmett and the lawnmower. Emmett Cullen and power tools were two things that should _never_ be mixed.

Jacob gave me a bracelet with a wolf charm carved intricately in wood. It was what they considered in his tribe as a 'promise ring'. It was currently locked away in my desk at my dorm. But at the time, I thought it was such a wonderful gift, not bothered by how my whole life was already being planned. I knew my place in this world. It was with Jacob and my family, forever.

But these past few months with Alec had blurred that perfect plan of my future, it wasn't so clean cut and amazing as I thought it would be because it made me see just all the flaws with my family and Jacob.

As much as they all loved me, I would always be this little child that needed to be protected all the time. They smothered me and kept trying to mold me into this idea of what I should be. They wanted the type of perfection I could never live up to because I wasn't like them. I wasn't really a vampire, it was only part of me and they would never really be able to understand what I was and how I felt sometimes.

There were times when we were at dinner sometimes laughing and I felt just for a split second that I didn't belong there. I'd stare at their golden eyes and marble skin, just that unattainable perfection to mortals and realize that I would never be them, could never be them.

I was different, it was a fact, I wasn't trying to be melodramatic but I was in some essence, a different species than them. I wasn't human, I wasn't vampire, I was…something else.

What it was I didn't know or even understand. And I'd usually just try not to think about it, just be happy with my family because they loved me so dearly even as they ignored what I could see so glaringly.

They were a part of me as I was a part of them. They were my kin and yet…

Glancing at the platinum charm bracelet on my wrist, Alec's Christmas gift to me, I began to think.

What did Alec play a role in all of this? Why was it that I fell in love with him? Was I just seeing him as my escape from this life I found myself not belonging in?

If so, then why him? He wasn't even like me. He was a vampire too. He was no different than my family with their perfection.

How would he even be able to understand me? Did I mistake those sweet words and passionate kisses for something deeper? Was I deluding myself into thinking he'd be able to see what I saw so clearly?

My head started to ache with all the questions, the doubt felt like a lead weight in my stomach, weighing me down into a state of frustration and sadness.

But also guilt, staring into the smiling pictures of my family, I kept wondering what I was willing to trade them for. Was I going to do the wrong thing? Was I going to choose Alec over them because of some misguided feeling?

Should I just make the right choice and be with Jacob? Even if they would never understand me at least they loved me. Something I was unsure with Alec, he never did tell me how he really felt about me.

I could just be his temporary plaything. I've heard stories of his cruelties from Uncle Eleazar who nursed a deep hatred for him, witnessing the cruelties and obscene things Alec has done over the centuries.

"Cold, detached and cruel- an absolute monster" were his words.

Were they true? Was I blinding myself to Alec's true nature? Had what I thought was love prevented me from seeing the truth?

"Renesmee."

I almost screamed in surprise and found Grandpa Carlisle entering his office, adorn in light green scrubs. His warm smile and general kind countenance calmed me somewhat but I still must've looked distraught as he asked. "Is everything okay?"

I could feel the lead sink down from my stomach to my feet. Guilt and dread gnawed at me.

It was time to come clean.

* * *

**Man, it's been so long hasn't it? **

**But yeah, I've been really busy lately. I'm class president this year and dealing with some useless drama with my classmates, I'm editor in chief of the school newspaper (booyah!) and I'm so uninspired it's painful. **

**So yep, I'm back and hopefully I can keep updating. I just sacrified sleep for this chapter. I'll probably be moody and shout at some people tomorrow. **

**This chapter was cut into two because it was just so long. Don't you all want to shake some sense into Pet? But yeah, she's a teenage girl, she's got some issues here and there. I also just hate when the girl just falls in love and never takes time to think about things, you know? Most Young Adult book girls these days just tick me off.  
**


	26. Chapter 25: Guilt

_Allowing children to show their guilt, show their grief, show their anger, takes the sting out of the situation._ **– Martha Beck**

I chickened out.

I stared into my grandfather's golden eyes and just couldn't do it. Maybe there really was bliss in ignorance because I knew that it was worse for my family to know about Alec and my feelings for him then them not knowing.

Who was I kidding? They'd never understand.

Dad was keeping quiet because he believed I needed some growing up and Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper were just being weird (but I really think they all just still secretly hate Jacob, that's all). The rest of my family would be horrified, especially my mother who would be appalled her precious baby was in love with one of the world's deadliest vampires (but pedophilic werewolves she had no problem with).

I stormed out of Grandpa Carlisle's office in a rush, making some lame excuse about homework and checking on Chelsie. Both were lies.

I bumped into Alec on my way out.

"Whoa, hey! What's wrong?" He asked as I tried to move past him. I was too upset to care really, all I wanted was to go back to my dorm and hide under the covers in shame.

He grasped me by the arms and didn't let me go. "What's wrong?" He asked more forcefully this time and I stare into the reds hidden beneath blue contacts before I shake my head and refuse to answer.

He must have seen something in my expression because he softened and let me go. "What do you want to do, Renesmee?"

"Dorms." I uttered out, not trusting myself with long sentences.

He nodded and we got into my car. The drive was quiet and awkward with Alec obviously wanting to ask questions and with me not wanting to answer them. I let him drive only because my concentration was shot.

I was overcome by guilt and…fear. Fear? Because I was so afraid of my family finding out about this. Alec was just outside the hospital my grandfather was in. What if Grandpa Carlisle had followed me? He would've seen Alec and…and everything would be ruined.

I couldn't handle that. Just like any foolish girl in love, the thought of Alec being ripped away from me hurt. It was unimaginable.

And then the guilt would overcome it. Because I was still lying.

It was a painful cycle.

By the time we arrived at the dorms, I felt so worn down, my walking was sluggish. I counted my steps as I made my way up the building and into my dorm.

As I collapsed on my bed, Alec took the seat by my desk and stared at me.

The sight of his eyes staring at me was the last thing I saw before I closed my eyes and slept.

I woke up to something tickling my face, I tried to bat it away but it just moved to my nose causing me to sneeze. I opened my eyes grudgingly and saw Alec leaning over me with a feather duster. I blink at this sight, too confused to process what was happening before he started tickling my face again.

I swat him away and he cackled as I groaned in misery. Asshole.

He took a seat beside me as he put the feather duster down, his fingers moving the hair covering my face. "Morning, beautiful,"

On any other day I would've been flattered by Alec calling me beautiful but I was simply too grumpy that moment to start blushing and stuttering like the fool I usually was around him. "Alec, fuck off."

"Nope," He retorted, tugging on my hair as I squinted up at him. "I have plans for us today. Now, get up."

I scowled at him in misery. Couldn't I enjoy my Sunday in peace?

But no, Alec wanted us to go somewhere and that was exactly how we ended up outside a museum with Alec covered in layers of hoodies and sweaters, looking ready to face Antarctica.

"I…look ridiculous," He muttered unhappily to myself and I rejoiced in his misery.

I stifled a laugh. "I agree, but you can't go around sparkling, sparkleson. People already think you have a severe case of pink eye."

He glared at me petulantly but didn't say anything else, just moved closer to the entrance of the museum. The guard let us in without fuss.

"What are we doing here anyway?" I asked, the curiosity nearly killing me. "Isn't this place closed today?"

"It is," He replied cockily, rolling his eyes at me for stating the obvious. I wanted to punch him but I restrained myself. "But I have friends in higher places, little girl."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Whatever."

"Come on," He said grasping my hand. "Let's start the tour."

Alec showed me the galleries with the skills of someone who knew art like he breathed air. He was well-educated about the paintings and statues and my head felt full with knowledge by the time we were done.

"Why'd you take me here?" I asked as we stopped in front of one large painting and sat down by the floor.

"This is our first date," He stated, shocking me. My eyes are wide as he continued. "Wanted to do something non-linear,"

This was our first date? I didn't think it was a date. It never even crossed my mind…

I felt myself blushing.

I was on a date.

With Alec.

My first date ever.

Heck, I always thought my first date (in my younger self's delusions) would be more...romantic. Complete with a string quartet, a nice dinner, some fireworks - the whole shebang. Instead I got an oddly overdressed vampire and a museum tour.

The cruelty of it all. I wish I was drunk.

And like magic, Alec whipped out a bottle of wine and glasses.

Or at least, I thought it was wine.

"Is that…?" I don't finish my question and he raised an eyebrow at me as he hands me a full glass.

"You will take what I give you and you will be happy about it."

I try to protest and he looked at me curiously.

""Have you ever even tasted…?"

"That doesn't matter."

His eyes held a challenge. Without thinking, I swallowed the contents of the glass.

The blood felt delicious on my tongue.

I didn't feel guilty at all and that scared me.

* * *

**Because I thought, I was so close to the ending and what the hell.**


	27. Chapter 26: Anguish

_From the very fountain of enchantment there arises a taste of bitterness to spread __**anguish **__amongst the flowers_. **–Lucretius**

It'd been weeks since my date with Alec and things had settled down some. I was still lying to my family and ignoring Jacob but school had kept me busy and I felt less guilty about it. Chelsie's had gotten better and she was able to walk now, which was great because it was just in time for the Mardi Gras.

The Mardi Gras parades started today. I was going to see it with Chelsie since she'd never attended the parade before and I didn't want to spend it with Jacob. We stood there in the streets with awe, the little children on their fathers' shoulders to see the events. Chelsie jumped up to catch the beaded necklaces and bracelets that were being thrown at the crowd.

Then came the float of King Felix and his queen, they waved at us as they passed by. Chelsie maneuvered pass the crowd to continue watching them.

"Enjoying yourself, pet?" Alec's voice whispered into my ear and I turned to him, having not noticed him approaching. He smiled at me, a true to honest smile and took my hand, squeezing it as he turned back to the festivities. I continued to stare at him, feeling that fluttering in my chest only he could bring. I'd fallen quick and hard for someone who the world feared and I wasn't looking back, I was too far gone, hopelessly lost but I was happy.

I wanted to spend forever with him. Before I was drowning at sea and he'd reached up and pulled me out of the water. He'd saved me from a life of being a child forever and I'd saved him too. From what? I don't know but maybe someday I'd find it, _we_'d find out, together.

"Stop staring, pet," He said, not looking at me but his violet eyes glanced at me for a second. "Don't you know it's rude?"

I'll show him rude.

"Alec-" I started but stopped when he stiffened, alerted, staring past behind me at something. "What's wrong?"

I turned around and I gasped, feeling the air go out of me.

Jacob.

He was standing there among the crowd, wearing a grey hoodie, covering his dark hair and dirty jeans. He looked crestfallen and very, very angry as he pushed past the crowd towards us, towards me.

Oh no. Not yet, not like this! I wanted more time. I didn't want it to end yet.

"Come on, Renesmee," Alec said as he took my hand and pulled me along. He didn't seem to care about the crowd of people and super sped out of there, pulling me into his arms and carrying me as we disappeared from view. We ended on top of a building, overlooking the parade, I could see Jacob below, sniffing the air as he tried in vain to look for us.

Alec pulled me to him, his hands on my arms as he firmly tried to get me to listen. "Listen to me, Renesmee. Get back to your dorm. Don't call me, don't look for me. Just keep out of sight and don't talk to anyone." He looked down at the streets below before looking back at me. "If _he_ calls, ignore him and if he comes, don't say anything."

He moved to leave but changed his mind at the last second and he was kissing me passionately, his hand on the back of my head as I gasped in between kisses. He deepened the kiss and I felt dizzy. He pulled away and I dazedly stared up at him, he just looked at me longingly before disappearing from sight.

I felt immediately alone as he left, wanting him to come back and be with me. But no, I couldn't have that. I felt resentment towards Jacob, This was his entire fault. If he hadn't shown up none of this would've happened and I could've - what? Kept on lying? Kept on hiding?

Yes but I wanted to because I loved Alec and I wanted to be with him.

I shook my head as I tried to compose myself. What did Alec say? Get back to the dorm and keep quiet. I had to do what he said, both of our safety was on the line here. I used my speed to go past the masses and back to the dorm at school. The moment I arrived I collapsed on the bed and tried to will away my tears. I wanted to cry, everything was ruined.

"Nessie?" Jacob's voice echoed and I jumped from the bed to stand up. He was standing by my desk and looking very serious, still angry and confused.

"Jacob." I said, not knowing what to say.

"What's going on, Ness?" He asked, moving closer to me. I took several steps back and he stopped when he realized I didn't want to be near him. Still, he kept on asking. "Who was that vampire with you earlier? What were you doing with him?"

"I-" I started to explain but then I remembered what Alec said. _If he comes, don't say anything. _I wisely kept my mouth shut and shook my head.

Enraged, Jacob came forward and grabbed me by the arms and shook me. "Tell me!"

"No!"

"WHO WAS HE?" He shouted and I winced, beginning to cry. He softened but pressed on. "Tell me!"

"I-I don't know," I lied, sobbing. Jacob stopped asking questions and pulled me into his arms, I cried into the plaid of his t-shirt and just cried. He rubbed my back soothingly and we collapsed on the bed. I must've fallen asleep because when I woke up it was midnight and Jacob was gone. But there on my desk was a note written in Jacob's handwriting. _We'll talk later._

I dreaded doing just that and I crumpled the paper and threw it into the waste bin. My phone rang a second later and I answered it. It was Dad. Jacob must've told them.

"_Time's up, Renesmee,"_ He said.

My heart dropped down to my feet and I shook my head in denial. "No."

"_You've had your fun,"_ He replied. _"Now, it's time to grow up and face everybody."_

"But Papa-"

He interrupted me. "Renesmee!"

"I love him, Papa, and he loves me and-"

"_You don't love him, you're infatuated with him,"_ Dad intoned. _"True love wouldn't cause you to estrange your family. True love shouldn't have to make you choose."_

I felt something shrivel up inside me and die. Was it true? Was I merely infatuated, obsessed with Alec? Was I not in love? Was Dad right?

There was a sigh on the other line_. "Come home, Renesmee. Just come home."_

"I don't want to." I said quietly.

Silence. And then…_ "Then you no longer belong to this family. I hope you're happy with your choices, Renesmee, cause there's no taking them back." _

I felt panic. Lose my family? But I couldn't stand that! I loved all of them even with the way they treated me, they all just loved me too much and I couldn't bear to lose them. "Papa, wait-"

He interrupted me for the final time. _"Goodbye, Renesmee."_

Then he hung up. I threw my phone at the wall in anguish as my heart broke. I lost my family, my best friends, my life. And what for? What have I done?

* * *

**You know I started working on this when I was a sophomore in high school and now I'm starting college. My feelings about a lot about this story has changed. I've realized things that will eventually influence the upcoming sequel. Yes, I do plan on finishing this story (preferably before I attend college) and yes, the sequel will be written shortly after this story is finished. But you have to bear with me here, I will not update as quickly as I'd like and I ask for your never ending patience. That's all.**


	28. Chapter 27: Acquiesce

_The strongest and most effective force in guaranteeing the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated, but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination._ **–Robert Frost**

I've been in pretty much a rut for the past few days. Jacob wouldn't stop calling me, Dad had disowned me and Alec had disappeared. My family was in chaos over everything as the truth had finally come out. Just seconds after my phone call with Dad, he revealed to them what was really going on. They'd all been horrified and Mom had threatened to pull me out of school.

My saving grace was Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper who rushed to my defense and tried to lift my disownment to no avail. They were able to keep my Mom from coming over and pulling me out of college though with the idea that I just needed some space to sort things out and I'd go back to being their perfect little girl. I couldn't help it but I felt sort of happy I was disowned. I was no longer under their influence. I would no longer be treated as someone fragile, as a child. I'd no longer be suffocated by them.

But on the other hand, I loved them so much and it hurt me to be so distanced from them. They were my best friends and I couldn't bear to lose them. These two sides of me fought on as the days went by and slowly, I found myself giving in. Alec wasn't around to change my mind and I felt weighed in by Jacob's pestering and Aunt Alice's pleas. They wanted me to come back to them where as Alec was nowhere to be found. His opinion stopped mattering because where was he? He left me to deal with this mess, he ran away and I hated him for that.

On the seventh day of my disownment, I relented.

I arrived at our house with a tired smile and said my apologies to everyone, even Jacob. He hugged me to him and everyone did the same. I was forgiven, that was that.

"Oh my baby," Mom said, cupping my face before hugging me. "You're home."

I hugged her back but it was half-hearted. A part of me felt dead, like I just gave up something very important by being there and I didn't know what that was. Maybe it was nothing but it kept bugging me later on that night.

The Mystic Societies of Mobile had invited my family again to one of their balls. Usually I stayed at home with Jacob while they went and enjoyed themselves. I didn't used to mind but it just became one of those things where I felt they treated me like a child and I resented them for it.

Usually, I'd pig out with Jacob on the junk food while we had a horror movie marathon by the time Aunt Alice entered my room, dressed to the nine's in her black and silver ball gown. She looked beautiful as always and I took the time to admire her before she took off my headphones and stopped me from doing my homework (There was no classes today and tomorrow it being the weekened but I didn't want to fall behind).

"Why aren't you dressed?" Aunt Alice asked, inspecting me where I was laid down on my stomach on the bed. "Party's is thirty minutes!"

What was she talking about?

I looked at her in confusion and she tsked, going to my closet and taking out a box from the top shelf. She brought it over to the bed and got up to look at what was inside. She pulled out a deep green gown that shimmered like water.

"Wow," was all I could say.

"Get into this and I'll do your make-up." Aunt Alice instructed handing me the gown. "The shoes are in the closet, the new strappy black ones."

"Wait," I stopped her. "I'm coming to the ball."

Aunt Alice rolled her eyes. "Yes, Cinderella," She smiled. "You're invited this time. Now get dressed before the parental control downstairs changes their minds."

I didn't need to be told twice. Aunt Alice left the room to allow me to change and I admired the gown in the mirror. It looked…

"Fabulous!" Aunt Alice exclaimed as she entered the room. "I just knew you'd look amazing in that."

She was right. The deep green made my rosy skin stand out and it clung to me, giving me more curve than I had. It reached the floor and ballooned out like a gown should and I wanted to twirl around like a princess but I stopped myself. Uncle Emmett and Jacob would laugh if they saw me, of course.

Aunt Alice interrupted my inspection with a hand on my shoulder. "Sit down, I have to do your make-up." I obediently took a seat and she began her work.

By the time she was done, I was gasping in shock. I'd never looked so…grown up. My eyes were smoky and my lips nude, there was a light blush on my cheeks and my lashes looked thick and long. I looked beautiful.

"Cinderella, you look fantastic!" Aunt Alice squealed.

I smiled at her and we made our way downstairs. I immediately raked over the men who were dressed in tuxes, even Jacob was dressed up with his hair gelled into submission. I was impressed. The women looked phenomenal. Aunt Rosalie like beauty personified in her dark red gown. Aunt Esme was in a off-shoulder teal gown and Mom was in a periwinkle gown.

We all looked ready to impress and I accepted Jacob's arm when he offered it to me. This was my life, this was my destiny. It didn't feel right but it's what I had. Alec wasn't around anymore, out of the picture. He no longer cared about me and I had to stop caring about him.

We arrived at the party in record time. I got out of Aunt Alice's Porsche, careful not to trip on the hem of my gown. We were fashionably late and the party was already roaring when we arrived. Everyone looked beautiful in tuxes, gowns and jewelry. I felt so proud to be there, I felt like I belonged, like I wasn't the kid in the big dress even though I was.

Jacob left me at a corner to get us some drinks and I wandered into the balcony of the ballroom. It overlooked the gardens that were twinkling with fairy lights. It looked beautiful with the crescent moon in the sky.

"Nice view." I stiffened as recognized the voice. I didn't turn around though, just clenched my hands into fists and looked out into the dark gardens. "Oh come on, pet, turn around so I can see you."

"If I do, will you disappear again?" I asked, spitefully.

I heard a sigh and then he was closer, his breath on the back of my neck and his cold hands on my bare arms. "Turn around." His mouth was at my ear and slowly I acquiesced, turning around to see him.

He was dressed in a tux with his hair slicked back. He looked devastatingly handsome and I resisted the urge to reach up and kiss him. That was all I wanted to do and denied myself the pleasure. He didn't deserve it, I reminded myself. He left me. _He left me_.

"What do you want?" I hissed out in anger. He took a step backwards and held his hands up in surrender.

"Testy now. I come in peace."

I pushed him away several steps backwards, I used all of my strength and it took all his strength and durability not to fly backwards and crash into the wall. It was a good thing too as that would be hard to explain to all the humans in the ballroom.

"Whoa, someone's feisty." Alec muttered.

I glared at him, crossing my arms over my chest. "How'd you even get in here? You're not invited."

"I'm a Volturi guard, Pet." He answered. "I can sneak in anywhere."

"Hilarious," I said dryly. "Again, what do you want?"

He didn't miss a beat. "I want you to come with me."

"Where would you take me? Why would I go with you in the first place? And what do you have planned?"

I was chuck filled with questions and Alec answered them with unending patience.

"First of all, to Volterra, B, Because you love me and three, I want to take you home to…meet the parents basically."

Meet the parents? Meet the Volturi? Was he out of his mind?

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Some people believe so but why should I listen to them?"

I was getting a headache. "Alec, why the hell should I do anything you ask me? You left me, remember? You left me to deal with my family all alone. They disowned me, you know?"

"I know–"

I interrupted his explanation. "You left me to deal with so much bullshit without a word from you for days. I had to beg on my knees for them to take my back and now you want to introduce me to your masters?"

There was a pregnant pause as Alec and I stared at one another. I was glaring at him so fiercely, he could burst into flames and it still wouldn't be enough.

Alec broke the silence. "Well," He shrugged. "Yes."

"Yes? YES?" He interrupted me by covering my mouth with his hand. I continued to scream at him though, muffled by his hand as I completely freaked out, smacking him as he took all the hits with surprising acceptance.

"I know, I know," He said capturing my hands in his. He looked down at me with sorrowful eyes. "I love you."

I paused and looked up at him in shock. "You _love _me?" I was stunned. He'd never said it before. This was the moment I'd been waiting for weeks to happen and here it was. And what did I do? I gaped like an idiot and stuttered. "B-But-"

"Sssh," He leaned downwards and captured my lips in his and I melted like ice cream in summer. He pulled away and stared at me, his violet eyes the prettiest things I've ever seen.

"Say it again."

He didn't need to be told twice. "I love you, I love you, I love you…"

He kissed me again and I was lost.

* * *

**Sigh. I still got it.**


	29. Chapter 28: Love

**_Love _**_is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies._** – Aristotle**

I stopped the kiss when it started to become too heated. Alec's hands were wandering all over my body and I couldn't…I couldn't think properly when his mouth did so many wonderful things.

"What's wrong?" He asked his eyes half-lidded and staring down at me like I was the most beautiful girl in the world. It made me almost melt again but I resisted. I needed to be able to think, to process thought.

I shook my head and pulled away from him. "I can't do this."

He looked frustrated. "Why not?"

"_Because_ Alec," I explained. "My family is here and I got disowned for this the last time and I don't want to do it again."

He smiled sardonically, hands coming up to grasp my arms. "You don't mean that."

"I do!" I pushed him away. "I don't want you anymore."

Something broke inside of him and his violet eyes widened before he was kissing me so hard, it hurt. I pushed him away with so much force he tumbled a few steps back. "Stop it!"

He was angry, glaring at me with pure red eyes now, the contacts having melted away. "Don't you get it? You're mine!"

"No, I'm not!" I protested. "I'm not anybody's. Not Jacob's, not yours, nobody's!"

His anger turned to frustration and sadness and his expression crumpled like a piece of paper. "What do you want from me, Renesmee?"

"I want you to go," I said. "Go back to Volterra, Alec, where you belong."

"I can't do that now." He shook his head. "Not without you."

I wanted to cry. Didn't he get it? "I can't go with you!"

"Why?"

"Because of my family! I love them!" I exclaimed. "I can't just leave them!"

"Yes you can!" He protested. "They do nothing but treat you like a child, like some fragile toy! You deserve better than that. You're _more _than that."

"What do you know, Alec?" The truth hit me like a ton of bricks, he was right but I wasn't going to let him win. I felt cold inside and my voice was icy. "You have no family."

"No," He shook his head, laughing hollowly. "I used to and I remember it like it was yesterday. And I know what family is and this isn't it."

I looked at him with glassy eyes as he looked back at me with equally sad eyes. I was losing and we both knew it but I still could not let him win, it was too much, too soon. I didn't want to have to choose between him and my family. I loved them both so much and they both meant so much to me. But Alec was right in so many levels it hurt.

Resigned, I sighed and looked at him with defeat. "What do you want from me, Alec?"

"Just come with me," He answered. "I'll show you a whole new world, a whole new life."

"I can't…."

"Yes, you can." He said firmly, grasping my hands and squeezing. "You're a lot stronger than you think."

I looked down at the floor, wanting it to swallow me up whole. What was I supposed to do? Should I go with him? Leave my family behind just like that? I couldn't bear to think of what they would do if I left them and went to Volterra. There would be war.

"And then what, Alec?" I asked. "We live happily ever after?"

He looked down at his feet before looking up at me, shaking his head. "I'm not that guy. That guy who whispers sweet nothings in your ear, recites Shakespeare to you and promises you happily ever after. I'm not him. So, don't expect me to become him because I'll never be"

What was he talking about? I didn't want to date my own father. "I wasn't expecting you to be that guy. I never wanted him. I want you." I moved closer to him until there was a hair's breadth between our bodies. "_You're_ the guy I fell in love with."

"You're…." He stopped before going on. "You're much too good for me."

I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of his statement. "What's so special about me?"

"You wanna know why _you_? Because I can't have you…you're this untouchable, protected, precious thing that everyone just adores and worships. And I despised you for that. I wanted to destroy that pure, good image you had, that shining light of holiness. And I did, so easily…" He let out a breath mid-rant and his expression softened as he looked at me, red eyes conveying all the emotion that was trapped inside of him. "…but now? I feel like such a fool because I can't get you out of my head, no matter what I do.I. Love. You. And believe me I'm not happy about it. But you give me hope. And that's something I haven't felt in a long while."

His expression harden again as he continued, the wall of ice appearing once more. "Do me and yourself a favor, Renesmee, and just go back to your happy little perfect family and your future husband, the flea-ridden _mutt_. Because you need to leave me alone…"

His face showed no emotion as he continued to stare waiting for me to turn and walk away, back to the arms of those that protected and loved me fiercely. But that wasn't happening today.

"You don't get to make that choice for me, Alec," My eyes rolled at the look of surprise on his part. "Stop being so dramatic, because if you hate the idea of loving me so much then you can try and stop…but me? I can't help the way I feel about you and I'm not happy with it either," I stepped forward towards him, more confidently than I really felt inside as I stared him down. "I'm. Not. Leaving. And if you leave, it's for you because I know what I want."

He didn't back down, even as I stepped even closer. "And what's that?"

I was only a hair's breath away from him, my skin already started to tingle from his proximity. "You, not Jacob, not anyone else, just you," My hand reached out to touch him and his hand stopped me, clapping around my wrist in a vice grip, his cold hand contrasting with the warm skin. He was staring at me incredulously, not believing what I was doing, why I wasn't running away. "Please…" The small whisper that escaped my mouth would've never been heard if it wasn't for his sharp hearing and he looked pained, conflicted, not having any idea what to do next.

"I'm not good for you," His voice was gentle, sad, like the words were just lazily coming out of his mouth. "I'm not that guy. That guy, who whispers sweet nothings in your ear, recites Shakespeare to you and promises you happily ever after. I'm not him. So, don't expect me to become him because I'll never be."

I shook my head, both at the disagreeing of me wanting that type of guy and his accusation that I would ever expect him to be. "I know. I wasn't expecting you to be that guy. I never wanted him. I want you. And you and I know both know that you're not the better man, so why are you trying so hard to do the right thing?"

He let out a sigh, shrugging almost blithely. "I guess you just bring out my soul."

"You have one?"

His laugh sounded nearly pained, hollow and he winced at the sound. "Why must you be so stubborn?" He still had my wrist in his hand and was caressing the sensitive flesh tenderly, making Goosebumps appear along the length of my arm.

I shrugged. "It's just who I am," Stepping closer, I finally eliminated that miniscule space between us. "You just have to deal with it."

His free hand played with my hair, his fingers twirling the bronze locks languidly. "Poor me," His hand abandoned my hair and went to my cheek, tracing the outline of my face from my forehead to my lips. He smiled, the look in his eyes making me shiver. "Bottom-line…" He continued slowly. "Am I stuck with you?"

I vaguely remembered asking him that question all those months ago in my dorm room, in a much different situation.

With my wrist finally free, I put her arms around his neck and pulled his head down until our lips were almost touching and I could see all the little golden flecks in his eyes. "Yes," I was barely able to whisper before his mouth devoured mine.

"Renesmee!"

We both froze and turned to the voice at the doorway.

Jacob.

I inwardly groaned. Not again.

* * *

**Ah, the confrontation between Alec and Jacob. It's a long time coming. Stay tuned for the next chapter! And don't forget to review.**


	30. Chapter 29: Goodbye

_**Goodbye**__s, they often come in waves._ **– Jarod Kintz**

Jacob advanced like an angry tidal wave, pushing Alec with enough strength to break a wall but Alec took it without blinking, just taking a step backwards. He immediately took it back and stared at Jacob coolly, icily.

"You! You're the asshole who's been playing with her heart!" Jacob shouted, looking fierce.

Alec merely blinked. "And you're the asshole who's been confusing her. We're both a little guilty here."

Jacob didn't take that lightly. "I am not guilty! You're nothing but a leech, sucking the life and happiness out of her, you're a parasite!"

"And you're an overgrown dog with fleas that sniffs other dogs' privates. I don't think you're much better."

"Why can't you just leave us alone?"

"I can, I just don't want to."

"She's meant to be with me!"

"Says who? You and your wolf genetics? What a reliable source! Then _my_ vampire genetics say that she's meant to be with me!"

Oh God, this was just going all wrong. I moved in between them, keeping a hand on each of their chests as they struggled to get closer to each other. I used all my strength to keep them at bay, I had to, they couldn't get into a fight, not over me, not here.

"I love her!"

"So? Does_ she_ love you? Has she said that she loved you?" Jacob looked at me for a moment, eyes questioning as if asking me to help him out here. I looked away and Alec continued. "She's told me she loves me. That makes you the unwanted one here then, right?"

"You son of a bitch!" Jacob growled. "She can't move on because you're always there like some fucking ghost in our lives!"

"Keep talking and I'll be an even bigger ghost."

I was having enough of this posturing contest between the two and I started to push Jacob away towards the door. Jacob pushed past me and punched Alec on the mouth, Alec landed on the floor, clutching at his mouth. He would be bleeding if he could.

"Jacob!" I shouted. He was shaking now, on the verge of a transformation. Oh no, not here, there was too many people. I went in search of my family and Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper came. Uncle Emmett pulled Jacob to the door while Uncle Jasper kept him calm. Mom and Dad came and saw Alec standing up, glaring at them. Mom pulled me into her arms and said to Alec, "You monster, stay away from my daughter!"

Alec laughed hollowly and kept on staring at us. I couldn't get it in me to look away from him. With a grasp on my elbow, Dad pulled me along to the door and we left the party. I kept staring behind me to where I hoped I'd see Alec but he never appeared.

The drive home was quiet. No one spoke and I felt a confrontation coming along. I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my head on them, I wanted to curl into a ball and fall asleep right there but I had to stay awake. I couldn't run away from all my problems again like I did before. It was too late to back out now, I had no choice, this was happening.

We arrived at our house, a moment later. Aunt Alice looked apologetic as I exited her car, she stared at me with golden eyes before I made my way to the family room, taking a seat on the couch. Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper escorted Jacob in, the latter still looking ready to transform any minute and he cooled himself by going to his room and taking a nap.

Uncle Emmett took the empty seat beside me on the couch and patted my knee. "Sorry, kid. Your mom's on the war path."

I nodded and gulped. I had a feeling my mom's breakdown was a long time coming. She'd been too quiet about the whole thing, being the perfect wife to my dad and not saying anything but now she was letting herself be heard. I could only watch the chips fall.

Mom stopped in front of me, Dad standing at the corner of the room, getting ready to interrupt this if ever need be. She looked ready to throw a fit and placed her hands on her hips like an angry mother hen.

"What was that monster doing there?" She asked. "And what were you doing with him?"

"Nothing, mom." I answered. "Just talking."

She glared at me icily. "Don't give me that, Renesmee Carlie Cullen!"

Oops, the full name, I was in deep trouble.

"No really," I insisted. "We were just talking and then Jacob came and they argued."

Mom closed her eyes, taking a minute to compose herself before opening them and saying very slowly. 'Renesmee, you will not see him again."

I felt something die inside of me at the thought. Never see Alec again? But… "I can't." I said quietly.

"What? You can't stop loving him?"

"No."

"Renesmee, you can't possibly know what love feels like!"

"And you did? When you were in my position, did you understand what love was? No, all you cared about was how perfect Dad and his family were. How growing old was such a disgusting concept! You didn't feel love Mom. That was desperation, because someone so normal just had to find an escape!"

Mom looked cornered, shouting at me to stop. "Stop it!"

"You didn't love Dad. You loved the idea of him, that perfect side of him that you could only see. You didn't love his flaws, his ideas, what he was because you were blind to it all!"

"I said, stop it!"

"No! You have no right to judge what I feel about Alec because I don't blind myself to his faults. I know every single one of those flaws and that's why I love him. I know him inside and out. I love him and not just because _I'd rather die than to stay away from him_ or _I'm his only reason for staying alive_, I love him for him. And believe me I can live without him, I just choose not to. I. Don't. Want. To."

I stood up, walking past all of my family before going up the stairs and to my room. I slammed the door shut and felt my anger course through my veins. I plumped down on the bed and punched the pillow, feeling it tear as a hole appeared. I threw the now ruined pillow away and went in search of my phone. I needed to call Alec. I was leaving here tonight.

There was knock on my door and I told them to go away but the door opened and Jacob came in. "Hey," He greeted quietly. I stopped my search for my phone and stared at him, not knowing what to say or do.

"What do you want, Jake?" I asked, feeling very tired all of a sudden. I just argued with my mom, I didn't want to argue with him. I was too tired for that.

"I heard you and your mom." Jacob said. "Are you okay? I came to check and see if you were fine."

"I'm fine, Jake." I turned away from him and continued to search for my phone. I looked under the bed, in my desk, in my closet but it wasn't there. Finally, I found it in my school bag, jammed along with my books.

Jacob took a seat on my bed, looking out of place with the purple bed spread. "You're leaving, aren't you?"

I stopped searching for Alec's number and left my phone on the desk, moving closer to Jacob until I was standing in front of him. He looked up at me with his dark eyes that were pleading, pleading me to stay with them, with him. But I couldn't do that.

I put my hand on his warm cheek, caressing the soft skin and he closed his eyes leaning into my hand as the images came forth.

I showed him everything, what we had before, all the good memories, the smiles, the laughs, the hugs, every beautiful memory we've ever had together. And then I showed him of how I imagined what we would've been like together, the kisses, the meaningful looks, that eternal lifetime of happiness together. It all went by like a blur, like a real actual memory and I wanted to cry because I knew I would've been happy in that life. Because I would've been happy with Jacob but like my Mom had done all those years ago, I was going to break his heart and I knew it would break him, cut into him even deeper than before.

I released Jacob and brought my hand to my face. I realized I'm crying and I tried to wipe away my tears as Jacob opened his eyes to look at me in sorrow and despair.

What was I doing? And I realized where my actions were leading me.

I didn't want to hurt Jacob, he was a part of me and that part hurt along with him too. But I knew, no matter what, that I couldn't go back now. In some other lifetime, it wouldn't have ended like this. The hero ends up with the girl, right? The two live happily ever after and skip into sunsets like the stories, don't they?

But this is the real world and what we want may not always go as we think is right or what fate has planned for us.

"Is he worth it?" Jacob's voice croaks.

And I tried to smile, I almost succeeded. "Yes, I think so."

He took a breath; the words seemed hard for him to say. "If you ever get tired of hugging marble statues, give me a call."

I shook my head sadly at him. "No, Jake. Don't wait for me. Don't continue hurting yourself." I wasn't my Mom. I had to do what she failed to do when she was in this situation. "Just let it go. Let me go."

"What if I don't want to?" He almost sobbed out and if he kept this up I would start crying as well.

"You _have _to."

He stared at me for a moment, comprehension sinking in as he realized that I was never coming back to him.

"Goodbye." One word and it was the hardest to ever come out of my lips. With one look at his face, that had brought me such warmth and joy from before, I turned and walked away.

* * *

**I am updating like lightning. Few more chapters left and then it's Equinox. Are you ready for Nahuel, guys? He's going to be the best character I've ever written, I know it.**


	31. Chapter 30: Dusk

_Change, like sunshine, can be a friend or a foe, a blessing or a curse, a dawn or a __**dusk**__._ **– William Arthur Ward**

Dad was standing at the bottom of the staircase, affectively blocking my way downstairs. He looked upset as expected, the frown on his mouth looked like it was going to be etched unto his face for eternity.

"Why are you so stubborn?" He was standing so still that it almost surprised me when he started talking.

I gave a quirky smile and shrugged noncommittally. "I get it from Mom."

He shook his head for a moment, a strange smile replacing the frown as he looked at me affectionately. I hurt him, deeply, I know, but one day he would forgive me.

_I love you, Dad._

He made a slow ascent up the stairs and I watched him the entire way until he was only a step below me, his eyes burning into my soul, reading every thought in my head with special scrutiny.

"You love him," He stated that fact with a mild discomfort to his voice.

_I do._

"And we can't keep you from him."

_No._

I smiled at him, amused at the grimace on his face. "Don't worry, Dad. Alec won't corrupt me too badly."

He let out a chuckle. "I was thinking it was the other way around." I rolled my eyes and he laughed harder.

"You'll still visit, won't you?" He asked looking rather uncertain and I couldn't help but pull him in a hug.

"_Duh_,"

He laughed again and I hugged him tighter, my head resting on his chest as gently stroked my hair, a sweet calmness overcoming us as we stood like that for a little while, just soaking in the moment.

"Be safe," He whispered finally, the timbre of his voice gracing my ears and I nodded before ending the embracing.

_Goodbye, Dad. _

"Goodbye, Renesmee," He returned kindly. "For now,"

I gave him my widest and warmest smile before I went pass him to go to the garage. And just like that, I closed another chapter in my life.

I found my car and opened the trunk, surprised to find bags of my things in there. But how-

"We had a feeling you were going to make a getaway," Aunt Alice said, appearing out of nowhere with Uncle Jasper, Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rosalie in tow. "We decided to make things easier for you."

I stared at them all in shock. "You're all for this?"

"I'm not." Aunt Rosalie stepped forward. "But I can see that nothing's going to stop you from running into the arms of your beloved like some cliché heroine so I'm just going to have to bear it and let you be happy, no matter how much I disapprove."

I laughed, shaking my head. "Thank you." I pulled her into a hug. The rest of my uncles and aunt joined along, I was stuck in a gigantic group hug that constricted my breathing. "Guys, I can't breathe." But I felt full and happy and so filled with love, I felt giddy.

"You're not saying goodbye without us, are you?" We all dispersed to see Grandpa Carlisle and Grandma Esme coming towards us. They were both smiling, both strangely happy and sad at the same time.

"Grandpa." I moved forward till I was hugging him. "I'm sorry for lying to you and everything and causing everyone so much trouble-"

He interrupted me. "Sssh," He smiled, pulling away from me. "I know, I know."

I smiled up at him, feeling tears pricking my eyes. They were so understanding, good and kind. I didn't deserve all these people.

As if reading my mind, Grandma Esme pulled me into a hug. "I'm going to miss you, my dear Renesmee. I can't bear to lose you but I have a feeling I will anyway if we force you to stay."

"Yes," I agreed. I pulled away from her and kissed her on the cheek. She caressed my cheek for a moment before handing me my cell phone. "Call us every day."

"I will." I promised before turning towards my car. I gave kisses to my aunts and uncles before I went inside my car. I turned on the engine when I realized I'd forgotten someone. "Where's mom?"

Aunt Alice turned to Uncle Jasper and they shared a look before she turned back to me and answered. "She's with your dad."

I felt guilt brewing in my gut as I asked. "Do you think she'll ever forgive me?"

"Someday," Uncle Jasper replied. "She just needs time."

All the things I said, some of them I didn't mean, I felt so guilty and angry at myself. But I had no choice, apologizing would do no good. Mom had to let me go and realized I wasn't her baby anymore. I'd forever be her daughter but I was no longer a child.

The garage door opened and I revved the engine, I stared into the darkening skies before I was off. I didn't know where I was headed but I felt free.

I was driving for hours on end, feeling my eyelids droop before I realized where I needed to go. I headed to the airport and arrived just in time to see Alec at the terminal, smiling when he saw me.

"You're late," He said. "Our flight leaves in fifteen minutes."

"How did you I'd be here?" I asked, stunned.

He shook his head. "Your Aunt Alice called," He answered. "She thinks of everything."

"Yes, she does," I laughed, I suddenly just felt like laughing, crying, dancing and singing, just leaping into the clouds with joy. I was there with the guy of my dreams and we were about to start our lives together? How could this get any better?

Alec explained to me the extravagance of the Volturi by showing me their private plane. My family was known to be a little frivolous but when you had all that money, it would be a waste not to spend it. But a plane? We didn't have a plane. Dad didn't even want to get me that pony I've been asking him since I learned how to talk.

Alec had laughed at my dropped jaw before leading me to the inside of the plane. I couldn't help but blink at the all too lush interior, suddenly self-conscious to touch anything.

Alec rolled his eyes at me, pulling me down beside him on the comfy seat. "You're acting like you've never been on a plane."

"Not a private one," I shook my head at the large flat-screen TV hanging on the wall. "Especially one owned by Richie Rich himself."

"Don't the Cullens have money?"

I nodded. "We fly first class but we don't own a plane," I explained. "Besides, they prefer driving."

We spent a good portion of the plane ride, talking. Well, I was asking questions about Volterra and all the sights and people and Alec enlightened me in his own twisted way.

"There are plenty of people, though we prefer the tourists."

"Why is that?" He raised his eyebrows at me and realization struck me. He meant tourists as in people…to eat. There were times when I truly forgot who Alec was and what lifestyle he led. How different we really were in that aspect but I chose to ignore that, we'd find a compromise like we always did.

But I don't think I could live with feeding on people, I was still partly human and with my upbringing and conscience I wouldn't be able to stomach it. I don't think I could stomach knowing people were being murdered in the next room either.

I turned to Alec to address him about it but his attention was somewhere else, his face was calm as he stared at the different colors splayed out in the sky. I opted to talk about this problem with him later but right now, I was content to watch to share this moment with him.

I rested my head on his shoulder and he absently pulled me closer.

Outside the window, the heavens welcomed the dusk.

* * *

**See ya for the sequel! As Bette Davis said, "Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy ride".**


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